I have already told you about my son Devon being Autistic. I can’t believe the difference in him since we have moved to South Carolina. Devon has started saying some words and is now able to distinguish between numbers and letters. This has made me so proud, you don’t know how far he has come in the last 3 years.
It doesn’t take much to make me proud of both of my children, but Devon is 18 years old and for him to be able to do these things is a big thing for me. Devon is 18 years old, by now most children his age are either in their last year of high school or in college, My Devon will be in school till he is 21, after that I have no clue what is going to happen, but that is just another step we will worry about when the time comes. Devon was diagnosed with Autism when he was 4 1/2 years old, I still remember that day like it was yesterday, up till that point we just thought it was something he was going through. He did everything early, from rolling over to walking, he was even saying words. That all stopped when he was 1 1/2 years old. All the words he was saying vanished, Devon was having meltdowns, tantrums, doing thing typical of Autism, but at that time I just thought it was just another “thing” he was going through, that any day he would say all those words again, even say Mommy again…But that wasn’t to happen.
When Devon turned 3 we put him in an Early developmental class in our local school, I remember the day we had to go in so they could meet with us to make sure this was the class for Devon… The tantrum Devon had, throwing himself on the floor and crying, The teacher looked at me and knew right away Devon needed to be in that class. When he was 4 1/2 we had a meeting with his case manager from the school district and they told me that they thought Devon needed to be evaluated by a Neurologist and they referred me to one in the area. the day finally came to go to our appointment, Devon’s father, me and Devon went to that doctor appointment and that was the day our lives changed. They did whatever test they did back then, sat me and my ex-husband down and came right out and said, Devon is Autistic, she asked us if we knew what that was, at that time there wasn’t much reference to Autism, I remembered this TV special I had seen when I was younger about Autism and it really wasn’t something I wanted to remember and also I knew of the movie Rain Man, so to answer her question I said yes, I knew of Autism not about it.
The Doctor didn’t give us much faith that day, she only pointed out all the negative things and to top it all off she told us that she didn’t think it would be in our best interest to have any more children, that if we did the child might come out with a mental handicap also..unknown to the doctor I was 2 months pregnant with my daughter, when she said those words to me my heart fell I looked at her and said..”well we are already expecting another child” all she said to us was to go to our local library and find books on Autism and read about it. That was it, we walked out of there with all our dreams crumbled, all the “dreams we had for him…him playing football…his first girlfriend, the prom, graduating high school, going to college, getting married and having children” everything I always dreamed of was gone with that one word Autism.
This was 14 years ago, they have come along way in the treatment for Autism, things they didn’t have back then. When I walked out of that doctor’s office that day, I walked out a different person, my love for my son never changed but I think it made me stronger, I couldn’t just break down and pity myself, I had to be strong for him and myself, because Devon will always need me to be strong, so I can be his voice and he can be heard. it was a few years ago that I finally heard Devon say something I was longing for, one simple word “mommy” it made me the happiest person, I never thought I would hear him say that word again, and I owe it to his teachers and his step father…my husband Love’s Devon as if he was his own, when Devon’s father couldn’t live with that fact that Devon “wasn’t perfect”in his eyes and he couldn’t deal with the everyday stress, he pulled away from us and we divorced. Some parents just don’t have the strength to take care of a special needs child, I never once thought about giving my child up, he is mine and is perfect in every way…
Renee Sullivan says
October 5, 2012 at 3:23 AMKelly,
14 years ago isn’t really that long ago. Even though many major advances have been made since then, there was no reason for your doctor to give you only negative information. As a speech pathologist, I taught children with autism from 1992 to 2010. Yes, autism was still seen sterotypically in 1992, but even then we were taught methods that showed very positive results with children. It’s unfortunate that your doctor handled your situation that way.
The positive is that YOU the parent see him for what he DOES do rather than what he can’t. Your child loves you and you love him and nobody can take that away from you.
Renee
Sofia @ From PDX with Love says
October 5, 2012 at 2:20 PMWow. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I must agree with Renee, the doctor had no right to say what she did, it was tactless and rude. But you go momma!! You are one strong woman and it shows on your children.
By the end of the post, where you share that he now says “mommy”, I couldn’t help but remember how good it felt to hear that simple word coming out of my boys’ mouth. It is the best word ever!
You keep up the great work! :D
Shauna says
October 5, 2012 at 1:17 PMAwe… I love how positive you are and give you a huge hug! You are a great mom!
Brooke Adametz says
October 5, 2012 at 2:37 PMWhat a strong mama you are! Thank you for taking the time to share your story! Best wishes to you and Devon for the future!
jennifer zuna says
October 5, 2012 at 8:05 PMi have a 7 year old whos severe adhd and we are waiting on testing that may or may not end up labeling him as aspergers…you are a strong mom! kudos to you!
Durante says
October 5, 2012 at 8:56 PMYou’re awesome doing it on your own, it is hard. I’ve met a lot of people who have learned to love the parts of Autism that make a child ‘super powered’ I’m sorry that your ex had such a limited vision. You’re doing awesome!
Vikki Taggart says
October 6, 2012 at 11:22 PMMy daughter was diagnosed with Asperger’s a few weeks ago. It’s a tough road and I applaud the work you do with your son!
AMBER EDWARDS says
October 18, 2012 at 2:48 PMAutism is such an overwhelming diagnosis. I commend you for your positive nature, and how well you manage it! I only knew a few kids with a very MILD diagnosis of autism and I saw the struggles their parents went through for them. I think all parents of autistic kids deserve more recognition for their outstanding jobs!
Bobbie Seacrist says
October 18, 2012 at 3:47 PMKudos to you! As a single Mom of a daughter with special needs I know how tough it can be. You are doing good Mama, keep it up!
Crunchy Frugalista says
October 18, 2012 at 4:59 PMThank you so much for sharing your story. My God daughter has Autism, and raising awareness is so important.
Susan says
October 18, 2012 at 6:43 PMPositive thoughts going your way. I used to teach a high school autistic unit.
Brooke says
October 18, 2012 at 6:59 PMIt’s great to see a parent who’s so able to stand beside their child after so many years of dealing with something like that. Kudos to you momma!
Tiffany C. says
October 18, 2012 at 8:14 PMI can really tell in your post how much you love Devon.
Melody0605 says
October 18, 2012 at 11:36 PMI thought that my now 5 year old was autistic til just a few years ago. It turned out that the missing words were due to his tongue being tied. While I was completely okay if he had been diagnosed with autism, I was still scared. When we got the news that his tongue was more tied than the speech therapist had ever seen in her entire career, we were on the search for someone to clip it. When that doctor did his job..FINALLY, my son began to speak.
I am so glad that your son has such a great mother and support system!
Tosh says
October 19, 2012 at 3:01 AMSuch a sweet post, a mother’s love is such a powerful thing!
Diane N - Philzendia says
October 19, 2012 at 3:09 AMThank you for sharing your post. Just a few years ago, I knew nothing about Autism. It’s only now that I’m reading so many personal accounts that I’ve become more aware.
Momma on the Rocks says
October 19, 2012 at 12:11 AMThis post is so powerful! I’m so glad he is starting to advance again. He sounds like a really great kid. hugs
Ronni Keller says
October 19, 2012 at 3:29 AMWe have a 6 year old on the spectrum… HOPE is always there!!!
Lisa R says
January 25, 2013 at 7:17 PMMy daughter Devon is autistic as well, unfortunately she lives in a residential for the past 10 years. I miss my daughter and it is very heartbreaking for me not to have her home. I know how hard it is for you and wish you the very best with your son.
sibabe64 at ptd dot net
Ronnkelly3 says
January 25, 2013 at 7:19 PMThank you Lisa, I love that name Devon,I bet she is as sweet as my Devon :) It is heartbreaking, but sometimes we have o do what is best for them…
Cyndee Wells/Rude Mom Blog says
March 4, 2013 at 2:05 PMKelly, you are one strong lady and I am happy that you shared your story. My son Denver is 12, almost 13, and was diagnosed back when he was 3 1/2. It hasn’t been easy between bullies at school and his multiple meltdowns a day, but I would not trade a minute with him for all the wealth in this world.
Ronnkelly3 says
March 4, 2013 at 3:56 PMThank you Cyndee, I know all to well about the meltdowns, sometimes I have a meltdown right with him. It isn’t easy but we are both great mom’s and our children are so precious. It doesn’t get any easier as they get older, but we learn to adapt, and for my son I would do anything for him.. I am sending you a huge hug..
Sheila B. says
February 8, 2016 at 2:15 PMMy daughter will be 5 in a week and at 2 had no vocabulary and I started having her tested as to why. on June 9,2014 I got her autism diagnosis from a psychologist but she still needs to see a neuro. She was gifted an ipad and in just a year from having no words, she has worked (played) with speech apps and me helping her, she has a small vocabulary and can sign some to communicate her wants. She is super smart with letters, numbers and puzzles. She also starts kindergarten in the fall and I’m hoping to see a huge improvement with her motor skills and speech after a year in school full time. she has come so far in just this past year and tries really hard to say alot of words. It’s all about what they can do instead of what they can’t do. I also have a tab on my blog that I started about autism.
http://www.simplyausomemom.com/