For those of you that are following me and have read my last post, you know about my son, for those of you that are new to my blog I would like to welcome you and let you know My son Devon is Autistic. I know there are still people out there that don’t know much about Autism, so I will give you some information. Here is a quick glimpse into my life. Devon is now 18 years old, he was diagnosed with Autism when he was about 5 years old.
I knew something was wrong when Devon was about 1 1/2 years old and he stopped talking. He did everything early, from rolling over to walking and talking. But when those magic words disappeared I knew something was not right, but like other parents, I kept saying ” he will start talking again” but that never came, yes he would say things but not actual words, then the tantrums came, not the regular terrible 2’s I mean these were really bad, nothing would console him, at the age of 3 I had my school district test him and we put him into school. Devon used to wake up at night with Night Terrors, ” That is when he did sleep” these terrors were so bad, that I would just sit there and cry because I didn’t know what to do for him. For many years I lived on only 3 hours of sleep because Devon didn’t sleep, I was worn out.
Think about how wonderful it is when your child is finally potty trained, ” Devon isn’t and may never be” he is 18 yrs old and I still change his diaper. I am not complaining at all, he is my child and I would do it all again if I had to. There are a lot of things parents take for granted when it comes to their children, I don’t take my children for granted at all. This could be you telling this story. I have been told by some people that they don’t think they could do what I do. This is my son, I carried him for 9 months and I have so many wonderful moments with him that I would never give up. He is my reason to smile, especially when I see him smile, his smile lights up the room and my heart.
I could not imagine my life without him. Devon has taught me so much, that yes there is more to life. I might not be able to do the things other parents do, and I accept that. Devon will be living with us until I am old and not able to do it anymore, then I am sure we will find other options. But I could never put Devon into a home, ” Not that I am putting other’s down for doing that” It just is not an option I ever thought about. So while other children go on to live “Normal Lives” Devon will live his Normal Life with us, and we are OK with that. So this is what I mean by taken children for granted, because in a flash this could be all taken away from you.
When Devon was born, we had so many dreams for him, Sports, College, girlfriends, marriage, grandchildren. I adjusted to the fact that I will Never get to hold his Firstborn or send him off to Collage or Dance the Mother/ son dance at his wedding. I won’t say that it doesn’t still pain me, it does. But I cry that tear and I move on because now we have different dreams for Devon, wonderful dreams.
Devon Looking Cool in his Sunglasses This Summer
Here is some information about Autism:
Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and affects a person’s ability to communicate and interact with others. Autism is defined by a certain set of behaviors and is a “spectrum disorder” that affects individuals differently and to varying degrees. There is no known single cause of autism, but increased awareness and funding can help families today.
In March 2012, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued their ADDM autism prevalence report. The report concluded that the prevalence of autism had risen to 1 in every 88 births in the United States and almost 1 in 54 boys. The spotlight shown on autism as a result of the prevalence increase opens opportunities for the nation to consider how to serve these families facing a lifetime of support for their children.
Know the Signs: Early Identification Can Change Lives:
Autism is treatable. Children do not “outgrow” autism, but studies show that early diagnosis and intervention lead to significantly improved outcomes.
Here are some signs to look for in the children in your life:
- Lack of or delay in spoken language
- Repetitive use of language and/or motor mannerisms (e.g., hand-flapping, twirling objects)
- Little or no eye contact
- Lack of interest in peer relationships
- Lack of spontaneous or make-believe play
- Persistent fixation on parts of objects
The Information above came from The Autism Society.
Here is a little Autism 101 I found on Autism Spectrum Disorder, through my eyes It is a Facebook Page,
Autism 101
Here are a few things you need to know when dealing with kids with autism. Those of you that have typical kids, or love someone with autism, please take note:
1. Please don’t say to the parents, “can’t you just”. No, we can’t just give him something else to do, distract him, blah blah blah. If we could, don’t you think we would?
2. Please don’t tell us to ignore his behavior. “Have you ever tried ignoring it when he tells you something repeatedly?” Well, I challenge you to hear “I can eat dinner at 6” every 30 seconds for five hours. Seriously.
3. Please don’t ask us “why do you think he is having a meltdown or why is he so upset?” when it seems to be for no apparent reason. Um because he has autism, that’s why. If I could get that info, I would.
4. Please don’t say the following, “wow you have so much on your plate”, or “oh you are a saint”. We have our plate and it’s no bigger than anyone Else’s. I am far from a saint and pity is really offensive. Everyone has life and parenting challenges.
5. Offer to help and mean it. If you want to help your friend or family member, babysit, come over and engage the kid, or just listen if we need someone to talk to. We don’t expect anyone to solve our problems, we just need empathy and action.
6. Don’t ask us if our kid is going to college, going to drive, or going to live on his own. We would have a better chance of drowning in the bathtub than knowing that.
7. Never give up on our kids. Never look at them and think they have limitations. They may be different but they are not less!!! (TG credit there).
I am sure I can come up with more. Just like autism, nothing is as we expect it to be, so this is not a top ten list, it’s a top seven!
~autisable.com
Here are some more great Helpful Resources For Parents and Teachers of Special Education Children!
For students of all ages:
Creating the Optimal Environment for a Kid with ADHD
Suggested Classroom Interventions for Children with ADD & Learning Disabilities
The Life-Changing Impact of Autism Service Dogs
Addressing Special Education Needs for Students Learning English as a Second Language
22 Tips for Teaching Students with Autism Spectrum Disorders
50 Must-See Blogs for Special Education Teachers
The Ultimate Guide to Water Safety for Parents and Caregivers of Children with Autism
Teaching Your Child About Peers with Special Needs
And here are a few that high school and college educators, parents and students will find helpful:
Teaching College Students with Autism Spectrum Disorders
Autism and Addiction: Coping with and Treating Your Dual Diagnosis
Choosing a College: Planning for Teens with ADD
College Resources for Students with Disabilities
I hope these will make a positive impact on special needs children, educators, and families!
bonnie holt says
November 12, 2012 at 11:17 PMAwesome post i love it very informative
Kelly R says
November 13, 2012 at 3:54 PMThank you Bonnie.
nancy reyes says
November 13, 2012 at 12:23 AMThats Aunt Nancys boy and I wouldnt change him for anything in the world he can brighten the dullest mood when he smiles and higs u
Nicole-Lynn says
November 13, 2012 at 12:16 AMI enjoyed reading more about autism! I am observing an ESE class right now and there are some autistic kids in the class. This helps me understand autism a little better. Thanks!
Kelly R says
November 13, 2012 at 3:59 PMThey are a great bunch of kids..Your welcome
Natasha Dythia says
November 13, 2012 at 2:10 AMI have so much respect for all the parents like you that have children with special needs and you just dive in. Not that you dont have down moments by the bucketfull but at the end of the day you smile and love your baby no matter how old they are and still in diapers…… People like you make me realize that there is hope in this world
Kelly R says
November 13, 2012 at 3:59 PMThank you Natasha.
shelly says
November 13, 2012 at 1:23 PMYou are a wonderful mom and I’m sure your son is a wonderful person because of all that you have done for him. Thanks for sharing!
Kelly R says
November 13, 2012 at 4:01 PMThank you Shelly..
Melissa Campeau says
November 13, 2012 at 2:14 PMYour story really touched me and brought a tear to my eye… when you were talking about his dream that’s what really moved me. Even though I haven’t dealt with autism, I felt the pain but also admired your determination and strength.
Kelly R says
November 13, 2012 at 4:02 PMThank you Melissa. :)
Kelly R. says
November 13, 2012 at 1:15 PMSounds like your son has the most wonderful and loving mother, he is truly blessed. Thanks for sharing with all of us a glimpse into your daily life with him.
Kelly R says
November 13, 2012 at 4:00 PMYoue welcome, I want people to know about me and I am happy to share. Thank you
Motherhood on the Rocks says
November 13, 2012 at 2:09 PMI used to work at a summer camp with special needs kids. They wanted what the other kids did – to be respected, loved and have fun. Too bad not everyone understands this. Your son is a handsome young man by the way. :)
Kelly R says
November 13, 2012 at 4:02 PMI know first hand how cruel some children are and Adults. Thank you.
LaVonne @ Long Wait says
November 13, 2012 at 3:07 PMKelly, I didn’t know. Your Devon is so handsome. I am thankful for great mothers like you. Thank you for sharing your personal story. May God bless you as you continue to parent Devon. *Big Hugs*
Kelly R says
November 13, 2012 at 4:03 PMLaVonne, Thank you for you kind words… Hugs back
Journeys of The Zoo says
November 13, 2012 at 3:25 PMThank you so much for sharing a piece of your sons story. Everyone has one.
I love your “Autism 101”. No pity from me. People tell me that “losing a child is the worst. How can I go on?” Well, I just do. Besides, I’m sure that there are worse things in the world.
I have several friends with kids on the spectrum (do you know Jill, and they all say “If you know one person with Autism then you know one person with Autism).
My brother has never been tested but I’m 100% positive that he’s on the spectrum. Thankfully, he received support his whole life and still does (lives with my Mother). I wouldn’t trade him for anything.
Besos, Sarah
Zookeeper at Journeys of The Zoo
http://www.journeysofthezoo.com
Kelly R says
November 13, 2012 at 4:07 PMSarah, your so right, everyone has a story to tell, losing a child is hard, I know what it does to a mom, my mom and dad lost my sister when she was 15, I was 10 and we were very close..But like you said, my parents had to go on, they had other children that needed them..
I will check out Jill’s Blog, I don’t think i have read it yet. Thank you for sharing that.
Jaime Nicole says
November 13, 2012 at 9:11 PMBravo, Mom. I was a teacher and have worked with students with autism, and I admire the patience and dedication you are showing your son.
julieann r says
November 14, 2012 at 10:04 AMYour story tugged at my heart strings and made me cherish my children’s health even more. I thank you for putting this into perspective and it sounds like you have a wonderful son, no matter what the developmental issues are. God bless you and thank you for the information.
Jamilee says
November 14, 2012 at 10:15 AMIT’s amazing what a little information will do for people. I always hate how people would just assume things. I love this post it’s got a lot of great info. THanks
Amanda says
November 14, 2012 at 10:41 AMWhat an informative post! As someone that has nannied for a boy with Autism and is going to school to be a school psychologist, this is a great post. Thanks for sharing!
Katherine says
November 14, 2012 at 11:45 AMYou’re so amazing Kelly and talk about SUPER MOM! Thank you for your honest insight and awesome perspective. <3
jheylo says
November 14, 2012 at 1:47 PMi enjoyed reading your story and you sure are supermom :D i’m sure your son is so grateful to have you as his mom.
Amber Edwards says
November 14, 2012 at 3:34 PMsuch a beautiful post. it really helped me to understand more about Autism. I never knew that autism could be treated. Yes it can’t be cured, but I never knew there were things that can actually help them and parents manage better if caught early enough.
I especially love that list at the bottom “what not to say” and “what TO do”. Very helpful for those who don’t have experience with Autism.
Bobbie says
November 14, 2012 at 4:54 PMThis is a great post and very informative! Your son is very handsome and I am sure he brings you so much happiness. You are truly an amazing mother!
Heather Bryant says
November 14, 2012 at 7:55 PMWow, I am looking at my future through your eyes. My son is 11 and has Asperger’s Syndrome so I understand your frustrations as well as your joys, hugs my friend!
Victoria @ Denschool says
November 15, 2012 at 3:19 AMI am new to learning about autism. I think there are so many different types and symptoms that it is very confusing to people on the outside. Thank you for sharing your story. You are an amazing mother. I can’t imagine all that you do and continue to do for your child.
denise says
November 15, 2012 at 7:06 AMGreat post! Thanks for sharing into your life on your wonderful son. those glasses look cool on him!
Annabelle says
November 15, 2012 at 9:47 AMThank you for sharing your story, it’s inspiring :) I had always been in the mindset of “adults always teach the children” but it’s amazing what children teach us along the way! Bless you and your family.
Rachel says
November 15, 2012 at 9:51 AMGreat post! Thank you for sharing. Autism is both difficult and beautiful. My autistic cousin composes some of the most beautiful music that I’ve ever heard! And he can tell me what my parent’s licence plates were in the 80’s! My friend’s autistic children don’t like touching people, so their hugs are golden! Hugs and prayers to you!
michelle e says
March 17, 2013 at 7:07 PMgod bless you on your journey
Kristin Welch says
July 18, 2013 at 5:19 PMI think more people need to be educated about autism! I admire you and the courage it takes to blog about it; not all parents with kids with autism are comfortable with exposing it to the world. I am currently in the process of trying to get into grad school to become a behavior analyst and my dream is to work with children/families with autism and raise public awareness.
Ronnkelly3 says
July 18, 2013 at 7:43 PMThank you Kristin. I wish you all the luck with your dream, it is wonderful that you want to help families like this. :)
Aurora Hall says
August 15, 2013 at 12:49 AMThank you for posting this. My son has aspergers syndrome and not a lot of people have awareness for that, or autism. It’s nice to get some accurate info out there so that people can understand, REALLY understand Autism.
Ronnkelly3 says
August 15, 2013 at 10:58 AMYour welcome Aurora.