Everyone wants to have friends, but building a solid foundation for good relationships can be difficult. Sometimes you might not realize you are doing things to push people away. If you want to build strong friendships that last, there are a few things you should avoid doing. Don’t make the mistake of getting caught up in these 10 social blunders.
1. Talking Too Much About Yourself
Of course, your friends will want to hear about what’s going on with you, but dominating the entire conversation and talking about yourself is off-putting. You will come off as self-centered. Make sure that you are showing interest in other people so that they don’t feel ignored. All friendships are built on mutual exchange, so finding a balance is important.
2. Interrupting People Constantly
Another thing you might be doing that will drive people absolutely crazy is interrupting them. This will make them feel like you’re not really listening. It is natural to want to contribute to the conversation, but cutting people off will make them feel like what they are saying doesn’t matter. Wait a few seconds before you start talking to avoid interrupting others. This will ensure that they have been able to finish their thoughts.
3. Being Late to Everything
When you are late it can make other people feel like you don’t value their time. Everyone runs late from time to time, but if it is habitual it seems disrespectful. Your friends might start to feel like you are unreliable or that they aren’t a priority to you. Being on time can help you build trust in your relationships.
4. Constantly Complaining
No one wants to have a Negative Nancy around. If you are always negative, people will start distancing themselves from you. Constant complaining will drag the mood down and make interactions between people feel heavy. Friends want to support you when you are down, but you have to balance the bad with some positivity. Try to avoid always focusing on the negative.
5. Not Respecting Personal Boundaries
Every healthy relationship has boundaries. However, one of the quickest ways to damage a friendship is overstepping those boundaries. This might mean you’re being too invasive or just making other people feel uncomfortable with your behavior. Everyone has their limits and respecting boundaries is an important part of building trust in friendships.
6. Being Dishonest
Honesty is key in every relationship. Even white lies can erode trust and create a distance between you and your friends. Generally, people value sincerity. Being dishonest can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and even broken relationships. Strive to be open and transparent with your friends.
7. Not Following Through on Commitments
Being a flake can be really frustrating for your friends. Whether you always cancel or you just don’t show up, it makes it seem like they cannot depend on you. Eventually, they may decide to stop inviting you altogether. Relationships require some type of commitment. Of course, things happen. If you truly can’t make it, ensure you communicate it clearly and as early as possible. Constantly being a no-show will slowly eat away at the trust your friends have in you.
8. Gossiping Behind People’s Backs
People simply won’t trust you if you are always gossiping and eventually, they will distance themselves entirely. If your friends notice that you are constantly talking about people behind their backs, they will wonder if you’re doing the same thing to them. Additionally, gossip can create unnecessary drama and tension that will ultimately hurt your relationships. Rather than spreading rumors, focus on being supportive and kind.
9. Being Overly Critical
Similar to being negative all the time, being overly critical will also push people away. If you are always pointing out flaws or offering unsolicited advice, your friends might feel like you are judging them or belittling them. It is extremely important to support your friends without pointing out something wrong with the choices they’ve made. Your friendships thrive on encouragement, not criticism.
10. Taking Without Giving
Every relationship should be a two-way street. If you are always taking and not ever giving, your friendship will become unbalanced. This includes relying on friends for emotional support, favors, etc. without reciprocating. In the end, this behavior can make your friends feel like they are being used or taken for granted. Try to make sure that you’re equally contributing to the friendship.
Building Friendships Takes Awareness and Effort
Friendships are some of the most valuable relationships you’ll have in your life. However, you want to make sure that you are paying attention to these pitfalls. You want to be considerate, reliable, and genuine. All of this will help you maintain meaningful relationships for years to come.