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How To Use Handcuffs In Bed: The Complete Guide

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How To Use Handcuffs In Bed: The Complete Guide

According to a study done by Indiana University, about 20% of respondents said that they were interested in bondage in the bedroom. 

If you would consider yourself in that percentage of people interested in trying bondage, handcuffs are a simple and easy to way to introduce you to the BDSM and bondage world. 

However, for someone who’s never used them before, you may be wondering how to use handcuffs in bed.

Thankfully, we’ll help break it down for you.

Understand BDSM and Have a Safe Word

Before you start jumping into the world of bondage, there are some things you should know first.

Regardless of what form of BDSM you try, you need to make sure that you are comfortable with everything.

There needs to be trust and open communication between you and your partner. 

If you don’t have that, it may not be a fun or enjoyable experience. 

Secondly, BDSM isn’t always about pain and abuse. BDSM covers a wide range of “taboo” sexual acts. This could be spanking, teasing, roleplay, or bondage. 

You should discuss with your partner what each of you is comfortable with before you start a session.

Figure out what is okay and what’s off-limits. This can help take away some of the fear of the unknown of what’s going to happen.

Thirdly, you need to set up a safe word. It doesn’t always happen, but things can get intense in BDSM or bondage sessions.

That’s why it’s important to have a safe word if you no longer feel comfortable in the situation.

Try and find a word you normally wouldn’t say during sex.

This way if you say it, your partner really does know that you’re serious and want to stop.

Choose the Type of Handcuffs You’re Comfortable With

Once you’ve laid the groundwork for all of it, you’ll need to find a pair of handcuffs that are perfect for you.

If you’re a beginner, there are soft handcuffs out there that won’t hurt your wrist or make you feel super uncomfortable.

There are also some stretchy ones that are silicone.

These will be easy to break out of in case something happens.

Sometimes, it can be comforting to know that you’re not really trapped in the handcuffs. 

Once you’ve dipped your toe into the world of bondage, then you can start experimenting with the more serious stuff. 

This may be something like metal handcuffs, belts, or even rope.

There are all kinds of ways to tie or restrain someone, so you can also start to get creative.

There are also cuffs for your feet that you can get if you’re feeling really adventurous. 

Prioritize Foreplay

Before you start a session, you have to make sure that you incorporate foreplay. 

You can’t just jump into a session without setting the mood and helping each other get warmed up a little bit. 

You can bring the handcuffs in during foreplay, or you can wait and build up suspense by incorporating them later. 

For example, you could try handcuffing them and teasing them while there’s nothing they can do about it. 

This is also a great chance to bring in some roleplay opportunities as well.

A really popular one is playing cops and robbers.

If you’ve never tried that before, definitely make sure to try it out; you might find that it’s the best sex you and your partner have ever had!

Try Different Positions

While one of the partners is in handcuffs, you might find that it can be difficult to do some positions that you were used to doing.

However, handcuffs can be a great way to enhance some popular positions and spice your sex life up a little bit. 


One of the easiest ways to handcuff someone is to do it in missionary style. You can handcuff their hands in front of you. 

That way, if your partner is female, she can still play with her clit while you have sex with her, making the experience even more enjoyable for both of you. 

You can also use missionary with handcuffs by handcuffing your partner to the bed.

This works best if you have a headboard that you can attach the handcuffs to.

This makes sure that they can’t get away from you, and you can still enjoy using this really easy position.

Doggy Style

If restraining your partner’s hands behind their back is more your thing, doggy style is a great position for this.

Have them get on all fours, and then take their hands and put them behind their back.

Your partner’s face will be pressed up against the sheets on the bed, taking away all control from them and giving it to you.

Try New Positions

Handcuffs are also a great time to try all kinds of new positions. 

This is your chance to get creative and try the things you always wanted to do. If you don’t have any ideas, ask your partner if there is something they would like to do.

Communicate With Your Partner

Before you start the session, one of the most important things is making sure you can easily communicate with your partner. Especially if you are connecting with someone through kink dating apps.

They may be scared, so just try and reassure them that it’ll be okay.

If they still really don’t want to try it, don’t pressure them and respect their boundaries.

But give them a place to voice their opinions and feel heard.

While you should communicate with them before the session, also make sure that you communicate with them during it as well.

This way, you can tell them if something doesn’t feel right or if you’re not comfortable. 

Learn More About How to Use Handcuffs in Bed

These are only a few tips on how to use handcuffs in bed, but there are so many more suggestions and positions out there.

It all comes down to making sure you feel comfortable with your partner.

If you have that one aspect, you’re guaranteed to have a fun time. 

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