It can be challenging to begin dating again after a breakup or divorce, especially if you were with your ex for a long time.
But help is at hand! Here are seven practical steps you can take to start dating again and ensure the process goes smoothly.
1. Try Multiple Ways of Meeting People
These days, there are more ways to meet potential partners than ever before. So, be open to exploring each of the options to help you find mister or miss right.
For instance, you could try using dating apps, working with a matchmaking agency, attending in-person meet-up groups, being open to meeting someone through your personal network, and signing up for courses where you could meet someone with the same interests that you have.
And if you’re dating when you’re in your fifties or beyond, you’ll probably want to find someone of a similar age.
So, use online senior dating sites that are tailored to the needs of people who are your age.
Also, be open to meeting somebody anywhere. If you strike up an interesting conversation with someone at the grocery store, don’t be afraid to see the person as a potential dating opportunity.
It can take time to get used to dating again. But the process can go more smoothly when you embrace multiple options for meeting someone new.
2. Forget About Dating Rules
If you’ve been with someone for a long time, it will be quite normal to feel as though you don’t understand the rules and etiquette surrounding modern dating.
But you should forget about dating rules.
It’s important that you simply go about the dating process in a way that feels right for you rather than doing things in a way that you think you should do them.
You need to be yourself to find the right partner, so throw the dating rulebook out the window.
However, it may be time to work with a professional if you still feel that dating again after a breakup or divorce is challenging.
For instance, seeing a men’s dating coach can be an excellent idea for men needing a safe space to process emotions.
Given their expertise, they can help men enhance their dating life regardless of the circumstances. They can help you become the best version of yourself, which can be essential to successful dating.
Also, with a dating coach by your side, you don’t need to rely on the dating rulebook, as you become more confident with your strengths in attracting people.
3. Keep the Conversation Light
Actually, when you begin going on dates, there is one rule that you should follow: keep the conversation light early on.
Seeing as you’re fresh out of a breakup or divorce, it could be tempting to start talking about your recent past in detail, as those things will be fresh in your mind.
But dates are supposed to be fun and it will take a few meetings with any prospective partner to discern whether the person is someone you want to see more of and build a deeper relationship with, so keep the heavy stuff until you’ve made a more personal connection.
First dates should be about getting to know someone and having fun, so don’t scare off the person by sharing too much straight away.
And it could be helpful to check out these conversation ideas for first dates.
Once you have the right topic for your conversation, listen attentively to what they say. You can sum up what they told you to show that you’re interested and you understand them.
A little humor can keep the conversation going, as it helps build a bond with the person you’re dating.
More importantly, it is essential to maintain accommodating body language during the conversation to help them feel more comfortable talking to you.
You can accompany your smile by nodding and leaning in slightly when they speak.
This demonstrates that you are paying attention and value their input. You can also mirror their behavior to create a sense of rapport.
4. Take Things Slowly
Following on from the last suggestion, you should take everything slowly, as rushing into a relationship can lead to overlooking significant differences that could cause problems down the road.
Ideally, you should abstain from sex for some while because building trust with someone is what you need to be focused on the most. This can also help you determine your compatibility with the person more deeply.
If you’re to meet someone who could become your partner, it’s important you build foundations first and connect in a deeper way.
So, keep physical intimacy to a minimum while you’re still getting to know someone. In taking things slowly, you can minimize pressure and expectations, allowing you to develop the relationship based on both your terms.
5. Put in Effort
It’s perfectly natural to focus on finding someone who ticks all your boxes when you begin dating again.
Indeed, after a breakup or divorce, you’ll probably have a clearer idea of exactly what you want, and what you don’t want, out of your next relationship.
But you shouldn’t expect your date to put in all the work to prove to you that he or she is the right person for you. It’s just as important that you put in the effort yourself.
Be mindful of what you have to offer as much as what you want. Dating shouldn’t be an interview.
6. Consider Seeing a Psychologist
If you’re not coping well emotionally and are finding it difficult to get back into the dating game after a breakup or divorce, which is perfectly understandable, consider seeing a psychologist who can help you explore your feelings and provide you with suggestions for getting back out there.
If you’re worried that you might get emotionally hurt or you have too much self-criticism to engage in dating in a fun and exciting way, it can particularly be a good idea to see a psychologist.
7. Be Upfront About Your Children
While you shouldn’t tell a new date your entire life story as soon as you meet, it’s a good idea to tell a date that you have children on your first date, if you have kids.
It’s also important that you let your children know that you’re looking to meet someone new.
But you shouldn’t introduce a new partner to your children for some time.
You should only introduce your children to a new partner once your new partner is someone you know you’ll be seeing long-term.
So, always be upfront with your children and with the people you date.