Are you a person who always reacts with hostility? Do you plan to change your behavior? Did someone talk to you about learning to be assertive?
Then you must start training to build your assertiveness. Here’s an article on how to begin practicing it.
Understanding Assertiveness
Before discussing being calm and respectful, let’s understand more about the word.
Assertive is the ability to be confident when communicating your needs and wants while respecting other people. It is an interpersonal skill that keeps you and the people around you engaged in the conversation.
Furthermore, assertiveness is a direct communication style without a confrontational approach.
Often, it stands between passive and aggressive communication techniques.
One way or another, we want to stand firm in our ground. Also, we prefer to express ourselves openly to others. But, sadly, people are torn between being honest and being offensive.
Hence, you need to learn and train to build your assertiveness.
10 Ways When Training to Build your Assertiveness
Training to build your assertiveness may sound easy. But it requires practice and reminders of what you want to say.
Avoid becoming a people pleaser and stress yourself more. Instead, apply these simple ways to do it.
Assess your communication style
Take a look at yourself first. Listen to the voice inside you and understand your thoughts and feelings. Are you more of a passive communicator? Or do you lean more towards the aggressive approach?
Passive style means you prefer to indulge the needs of others rather than your own. Often, it leads you to unavoidable resentment.
Meanwhile, the aggressive style walks over the rights of others. It gives you the vibe of bullying and intimidation.
Once you figure out what type you are, you can quickly pinpoint how to improve yourself for the better.
Trust yourself
Confidence plays a vital role in your assertiveness. You’ll find it hard to tell others what you feel if you have low self-esteem. As a result, you begin to lower your self-worth.
One way to overcome such an issue is to trust yourself. Whichever feelings and ideas rush to your mind, believe in yourself first.
It will be easier to communicate your thoughts with others if you do. In addition, worrying about others’ opinions won’t do any good.
It will only block your honesty and right to respect. But when training to build your assertiveness, you can also gain self-respect. Add to that you can also get a public speaking training.
Think before responding
Do you feel stressed when asked for your opinion during a controversial conversation? Don’t force yourself to give an outright answer.
Instead, take time to think of the best response. Moreover, never share your thoughts when you don’t feel like it.
You might end up saying something that you’ll regret in the end.
Say No when needed
Are you someone who tends to say “yes” all the time? It’s pretty bothersome if you keep doing so. You put a heavyweight on your shoulder just to please a friend’s request.
Doing others a favor feels good. However, it’s a different story if you have to take the extra mile and neglect your own priorities.
For example, you have an ongoing project with a client, yet your coworker asked you to cover for him.
Refuse your colleague’s request by simply saying no. It’s better than compromising both of your careers. In addition, offer assistance next time you have extra space on your plate.
Moreover, use respectful go-to phrases when you plan to decline their invitation. You may say:
- I have to check my calendar.
- I have a scheduled appointment.
- I’ll get back to you on that.
Nevertheless, don’t forget to get back to the person again.
Avoid the guilty feeling.
One of the common downsides of saying no is the guilt trip. It seems like rejecting the person who asked for help.
But in reality, you only refuse their favor at the moment. Moreover, you need to remind yourself that you are not selfish.
On the contrary, you made such a decision to be assertive. So don’t push yourself too much.
Start small
It is difficult to change any kind of behavior. Therefore, you might find it challenging when training to build your assertiveness. However, it is possible if you start with small things. Practice being assertive in low-risk situations.
For example, ask your mechanic why there is still a clicking sound in your car. Or share an idea of chilling and watching a movie at home rather than in a cinema.
In addition, you can notify your partner about the lack of time to fulfill an errand. It is an excellent exercise to say no.
It seems like little matters, but its impact is immeasurable. Before you know it, you are an assertive communicator already.
Practice assertive communication
Like what they always say, practice makes perfect. So make it a habit of being assertive when talking. But before you go straight ahead to your supervisor, try roleplaying first.
Ask a friend to visualize various scenarios.
This way, you are ready for whatever the outcome will be. Also, you won’t lose your momentum.
Another option is to write a script. Then, read it aloud and rehearse it. It will help you become more confident when you talk to your client.
Be straightforward
If you’re training to build your assertiveness, you want to express everything straight to the point. Begin your conversation with the “I” pronoun. For example, I think, or I feel.
Stating your thoughts and feelings like this displays your confidence.
On the other hand, using the “you” pronoun sounds more aggressive.
Therefore, you might offend and insult others even though it’s not your intention. So always be direct with your statement.
Stay away from negativity.
Some instances make you angry, anxious, and depressed about another person. Don’t let your emotions take over you. Instead, leave it out of the window.
Get your message straight.
Showing anger and being defensive may lead to aggressive communication. Thus, it leads to miscommunication and lengthens your stress.
Therefore, always stay on track. Think of a way to mitigate unexpected situations.
Ask for help
The above tips seem unchallenging. But, if no one is assessing and evaluating your performance, you might stray off the right path.
So it’s best to look for a legal assertiveness training provider like Development Academy.
If you have a professional to guide you, you can reach your goal of becoming assertive at the end of the day. Get your messages done clearly and concisely.
Start by training to build your assertiveness today!