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Trying To Celebrate The Holidays During Divorce

Christmas is one of those times of the year: fantastic when things are going well in life; not so much when you’re in the midst of splitting up from your partner.

Even if your divorce is amicable, the holiday season has an uncanny way of stirring up emotions.

Here are some tips on how you can get through the festivities this year.

Plan way in advance

When you start seeing those Christmas decorations in the shops, that’s your cue to start planning your own holiday season.

Although August and September may seem very premature, thinking about things early on will mentally prepare you for what is happening at Christmas. If you have children, planning is necessary anyway, and knowing what is happening will help them too.

Trying To Celebrate The Holidays During Divorce

They may be uncertain about whether they will be staying with mum or dad, so it’s good to give them the details as early on as you can.

This, of course, means speaking to your ex-spouse too. It can often be easier to communicate plans over email, with plenty of room to list dates and activities and ensure that the details are clear for both parties.

Be kind to yourself

When you are going through a divorce, your emotions will already be on a high, so Christmas can make things even more difficult emotionally.

If this is your first Christmas without a partner it can feel daunting and alien, especially if you were together for a long time.

If you will be away from your children over the festive period, it can feel unnatural during a time when children are at the heart of celebrations.

Make sure you have some solid plans in place with friends or family, even if it’s simply going for a walk on Christmas Day or meeting up for a drink. Sometimes, people who are going through a difficult time find solace in helping others less fortunate, for example, by helping out at a homeless centre.

Don’t forget to prioritize self-care too; eat well, get plenty of sleep and exercise, and if you can, meditate.

Say ‘no’ to social media

During times of stress or angst, it’s easy to pick up our phones and look for comfort. You may not always find it on social media, though.

During the holiday season, you will see those idyllic festive snaps and parties, and this can make you feel like you are missing out or cause you to question how you have ended up in the situation you are in.

It’s important to not be harsh on yourself, and to remember that social media is not a reflection of reality.

Equally, if you have planned your first Christmas with a new partner, it’s unwise to post pictures of you two together with your children, these things often find their way to your ex, and this could cause upset during your divorce.

Reach out for help if you need to

Dealing with the stress of a divorce is not easy, and many people understandably reach for support, even without Christmas on the horizon.

If you are struggling, it’s important to let your friends and family know and explain how you are feeling. Offloading how you feel can help reduce stress, and being with friends can make you feel like your old self again.

If you don’t have friends and family around you, if you are not in contact with them, don’t rule out seeking support from a professional or therapist.


Even if this isn’t your first Christmas without your ex when you are going through a split with your partner or spouse, it can still be tough.

The effect of a divorce can sometimes take a long time to come to terms with, so go easy on yourself and remember that new year is not far away and this will be the time for new plans, new beginnings, and a fresh start.

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