No one ever said that marriage was easy. While we all dream of fairytale marriages with no fights or disruptions, the reality isn't so simple.
While divorce rates are allegedly going down, up to 50% of marriages still end in divorce.
Are you wondering if your marriage is going to end up the same way?
We're here to offer some advice if you want to address your marital problems.
Keep reading to learn more.
1. Have an Open Conversation
When you're feeling like your marriage isn't what it used to be, you must bring your concerns up with your partner.
Remember, your partner isn't a mind reader, and they may have no idea that something is wrong.
Sit down in a non-threatening environment and talk to your partner about your concerns.
Some people like to do this while they're laying in bed while others prefer a more formal talk at the dining room table.
Make sure that you don't make your partner feel trapped, judged, or overwhelmed. Use “I” statements and “we” statements instead of “you” statements.
Make sure that you're also open to listening to any concerns that your partner has.
2. Go on Dates
Sometimes after we get married we stop dating our partners. After all, you've already locked them down, right?
This isn't helpful. Think of the early days of your relationship when everything was fun and exciting. Why is it that you get married in the first place?
You and your partner should make a point to go out on dates.
Even if you're overloaded with responsibilities, schedule a time for a date (no matter how brief) at least every other week.
Bonus: Pick a bonding activity like a class or game to build togetherness.
3. Get a Counselor
There's no shame in seeking professional help. It's better to seek out marriage counseling (and individual counseling) before your marriage is on the brink of divorce.
You have less resentment and more space to make changes.
Marriage counseling provides a space for you and your partner to air your grievances with a neutral third party.
Having the counselor in the room may help you reframe your problems and the counselor can facilitate healthy discussion.
While a marriage counselor won't help all of the time, it's great to have someone to talk to who won't take a side.
4. Take Time Apart
It's possible that you need some time away from your partner, and this is okay too.
While dating and bonding is the answer for some people, others need to give themselves space to determine what they want.
It doesn't have to be a long-term situation, but it can be.
If you're doing this without legal guidance, start by taking a few days away and staying with a friend or family member.
If this isn't enough, but you still want to maintain your marriage, for the time being, consider a separation.
Trial separations are perfect for this purpose. Click here for more info.
Your Marital Problems Might be Manageable
Marital problems aren't a marriage death sentence. If you take care of things early on, you might be able to get your relationship back on track.
Don't hesitate to discuss the issue with your partner.
Start working together to find a solution and start fixing your marriage today.
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