Getting your little one to sleep in their bed after their baby years have been spent co-sleeping next to parents or snoozing alongside your bed in a crib can be challenging.
Even if you haven’t coslept through the infant phase, sometimes Toddlers start wanting to sleep with Mommy when they begin to experience nightmares for the first time.
Naturally, your toddler is bonded to you closely and relies on you for comfort and care, but you still want to inspire independence.
Each child will have unique personality traits making varying aspects of parenting easy and others difficult, but a few tricks could help.
Communication and Consistent Boundaries
Discuss your little one’s nighttime routine and your boundaries with your partner or other family members living in your household; this way everyone is well aware of what’s acceptable and onboard to help enforce the rules.
Creating the routine could be a collaborative pursuit or solely at your discretion; it’s up to you.
Letting your toddler have some choice in the matter could be beneficial, like choosing their bedtime stories or pajamas so that they feel as if they have some control and are included in decisions.
Most of all, you’ll want to implement your routine consistently and persistently so your little one knows there is no budging.
Provide Comfort and Reassurance
When you leave your toddler’s room after tucking them in for bed, they may cry out, which often elicits an emotional response from parents.
It’s okay to verbally reassure them that you’re just down the hall or comfort them if they’re scared of the dark.
However, if they get out of bed, it’s important not to turn the act of putting them back to bed into a big production.
Any attention is still attention and encourages more of whatever behavior garnered the attention in the first place.
A great way to encourage them to stay put is to put them back to bed when they get out without arguing and reinforce any good behavior positively.
During this transition period, be sure to give them lots of affection and love during the day and acknowledge any little progress they’ve made.
Maintain Persistence
Try your best to keep up your routine; if 7 pm is bedtime, it’s essential to stick to it nightly.
Ensure everyone in the house is aware of the plan so that it’s easy to follow the schedule.
When a child knows the routine and can anticipate what’s expected, they’re more likely to follow the expectation, as our brains are wired to appreciate structure.
However, the more you bend the rules, the more confused they may become, and more they may attempt to break them.
When bedtime approaches, respectfully remind them that bedtime is approaching and prompt them to begin their routine, whether that’s brushing their teeth, bath time, or reading a book.
When they lay down to sleep, tuck them in warmly and try not to make a big show out of leaving the room.
Remember, little ones love to test their boundaries and may do so over and over again.
Try your best to keep your composure, voice level, and take them back, over and over again, until they stay put.
Sleep Associations: The Good and The Bad
Associating sleep with particular objects or activities is excellent if they’re positive and work with your family’s needs.
However, some sleep associations can create bad habits that are difficult to break or encourage poor patterns as they grow older.
Giving a child a bottle before bed is a common crutch many parents resort to when kids cry out, scream louder, or can’t bear to hold their boundaries; and sometimes this is okay when they’re babies.
However, if your potty-trained toddler has warm milk at bedtime yet is wetting the bed in the night, you’ll probably want to adjust the timing of that pre-bedtime snack.
Negative sleep associations are relative, but generally, you’ll want to avoid anything that needs your help so that they can learn to self-soothe.
You’ll want to avoid:
- Rocking your kid to sleep
- Bouncing them till their eyes close
- Driving your child in the car till they sleep
- Nursing them to bed
- Holding their hand till lights out
Positive sleep associations can many things but ideally, we want these to be actions they can perform themselves to allow them to self-soothe when necessary.
However, some will be cues included in their nighttime routine like bath time, reading a book, brushing their teeth, a favorite pillow, or anything else they can do (mostly) on their own.
Positive sleep associations might include:
- Brushing teeth
- Singing softly
- Holding a favorite blanket or plush toy
- Reading a book
- Humming
- Blackout curtains
- White noise
- Cool and comfortable room temperature
- Sucking their thumb or pacifier (while they’re young)
Getting Your Toddler To Bed: A Sample Routine
7:00 — dim house lights and turn off the TV
7:15 — bath time
7:30 — brush teeth
7:40 — read a book, put on white noise
8:00 — goodnight cuddle and lights out
The road to the perfect bedtime routine will rarely be perfect— we certainly don’t know anyone who had it down in one try— but with persistence, consistency, and some patience, you could be enjoying tantrum-free bedtimes in your future.