It’s a scenario I hear time and time again. Our autistic kids getting left out from birthday party invites. Whether it be from class mates, friends, or family. It stings.
Some of our kids may not care. They don’t like to be around a bunch of loud people. But asking is still the right thing to do. Don’t assume that they, or we, won’t want to take part. Include us! Let us make that decision for ourselves.
If we decline, understand. It’s not you. We may be having a rough day. Our kids may need a break from sensory stimulation. We may have therapy engagements. There could be a million reason why we can’t come, but you won’t know unless you invite us.
Recently, it happened to my son. He doesn’t know yet. I assure you that when he does, he will be hurt. He is very sensitive. He constantly worries that people don’t like him, or think he’s “weird.” I hid the pics of this party from my Facebook timeline, as I let him play a pool game on my facebook. He also has a generic account that his father and I control, to play games. I logged into that and hid the pics from that timeline.
It’s just a matter of when his friend says something about the party. He will know. He will know he wasn’t asked. He will then ask us why. How do we answer that?
Maybe it was an over sight? It happens. Or maybe it wasn’t. We’ll never know, because I won’t ask. I don’t like confrontation like that. All I know is, it hurt. When those pictures of his friend and the other kids having fun, came through my feed, my heart sank.
It’s hard when your kid isn’t included. We know how amazing our children are. Sadly, others can’t see that. Their minds are clouded by judgement. They assume our children are bad, or a problem, or a handful. Get to know them. I promise you won’t be disappointed. You will see life from a perspective that you never expected. You may even learn a few things. Like, tolerance, acceptance, and perseverance. Our kids deserve that and more.
So please, from one mother to another, don’t forget us! We matter!