It’s no secret that marriage is often difficult. There’s a reason that there are almost 800,000 divorces every year, after all.
There’s no roadmap to a healthy marriage, it takes a great deal of effort, patience, and understanding from both parties.
Rough patches are common in marriage, and when they’re hit, it can be difficult to know how to navigate through successfully.
In some situations, divorce truly is what’s best for both people involved, some couples jump to getting a divorce when their issues are solvable.
And while there’s no one size fits all answer, there are a few things you should take into consideration before calling it quits.
Listed below are a few of the best questions to ask yourself before calling a divorce lawyer.
1. Do You Want a Divorce or a Better Relationship?
The first question you need to ask yourself is this: if your relationship was better with your spouse, would you want to stay with them?
It can be difficult to determine the difference between an unhappy marriage and one that is beyond repair.
But to avoid regret, it’s important that you do. As humans, our brains are wired to avoid difficult situations whenever possible.
But when you’re facing hard times, try to think past them.
When you’re no longer in this rough patch, could you see yourself being happy with this person?
2. Are You Going Through Severe Stress?
Even the strongest relationships can be strained if one or both people in the relationship are facing a stressful time in their life.
Severe stressors such as unemployment, infertility, and bankruptcy are common causes of divorce.
If you’re going through a hard time, whether in your relationship or outside of it, try to get through it before ending things.
Stress can make us think irrationally and blame people who may not be responsible in the slightest.
Particularly if you’re suffering through grief or a loss, do your best to work through it with your partner rather than pushing them away.
Life’s toughest issues are easier to get through with a partner than attempting to do so alone!
3. Have You Tried Couples Therapy?
Many people feel uncomfortable with the idea of therapy. It’s understandable!
You’re opening up to a complete stranger and trusting them with the darkest parts of your life.
But when you’re both in the midst of an argument, you might not be able to see things objectively.
Having an outside opinion on the state of your marriage can help you to see the situation more clearly.
Not to mention, therapists are trained to assess relationships and give personalized advice for you and your partner!
Your therapist might recommend that you spend some time without each other. Sometimes, a little time apart can do wonders for your relationship.
A separation isn’t the same thing as a divorce.
Know the differences between divorce vs separated and consider taking a break from each other before ending the relationship.
4. Are There Any Improvements You Can Make?
When your relationship takes a turn for the worse, it can be tempting to put all of the blame on your partner.
It’s true that they almost certainly had a part to play in the situation, but you can’t overlook what you may have contributed.
Before looking into your divorce options, take an honest look at any parts of the problem that you’re responsible for.
It’s okay to admit fault! No one’s perfect, and you shouldn’t expect each other to be. Which leads us to the next point.
5. What Are Your Expectations for Each Other?
Some couples find that they just aren’t right for each other, and when that happens, the best thing to do is split up.
You shouldn’t settle for someone who’s never going to make you happy, but you also need to be realistic with your expectations.
Do you find that you demand perfection from your spouse or vice versa?
You might not even realize you’re doing it in the moment, which is why honest reflection is so important.
6. Is There Someone Else?
One of the most common causes of divorce is infidelity.
Marriage can become tedious and many couples become lazy and take each other for granted over time, leading to one or both parties seeking outside affection.
If you’re dealing with cheating in your relationship, there are a few things you need to consider. What kind of infidelity is happening?
Is your spouse merely engaging in flirtation online or is it a serious relationship?
If you or your spouse are seeking love from someone else, it’s likely a sign that it’s lacking in your relationship.
Is it possible for you to work on the passion in your relationship, or is it too far gone?
7. Are You Still in Love?
Last but not least, try to determine whether or not you still love your spouse.
Love is a tough thing to feel underneath a build-up of resentment, the stresses of work and parenting, and everyday struggles in your relationship.
Is it possible for you to reignite the spark between you and your spouse? If not, it might be time to move on.
Consider Your Options Before Getting a Divorce
Sometimes, getting a divorce is the best thing you can do for yourself and your partner. Life is too short to spend it in an unhappy relationship.
And if you’re in any sort of danger, there’s no question, it’s time to get out.
However, under normal circumstances, it’s important to weigh your options carefully before going through with the decision to file for divorce.
Working on your problems instead of giving up will lead to a happier, healthier relationship in the long run.
Looking for more tips on navigating relationships? Be sure to check out our blog!