Have you and your partner been having trouble in the bedroom? Learn about seven common marriage intimacy problems and how to overcome them.
Let’s talk about sex. Continuous fulfillment of this natural urge seems like one of the biggest perks in relationships.
But, in reality, it can become one of the most pressing issues that couples face. Though marriage intimacy problems seem to surface the bedroom, they often stem from other areas of the relationship.
Repairing your sex life may take effort both in and out of the sack. Continue reading to learn about common sex issues and how to fix them.
1. Exhaustion
Despite how much you love your partner, or how attractive you find them, exhaustion can make sexual performance difficult or even impossible. When it happens often, it can create problems with your intimacy.
Sometimes it happens when both partners feel stretched thin. In this case, both of you just pass out when your heads hit your pillows. After a while, you two may start to feel more like friends than lovers.
Other times, the exhaustion only hits one partner, and the other can start to feel seriously neglected. This instance can build resentment and feelings of misunderstanding on both sides.
To fix this issue, try to match schedules. Take your days off together and get a sitter for some of those nights when you feel refreshed.
If this sounds impossible, then simply switch up the times you attempt to get frisky. Rather than a late-night romp after along day at work, set the alarm 20 minutes early for a morning session, or find random times that work midday when the mood strikes!
If your partner seems to always feel too tired, see how you can help them. Maybe altering your chore list a little will make a difference.
2. Vanilla Sex
Sometimes you need the bare basics of vanilla as a staple to hold together your intimacy. But, it’s nice to throw some sprinkles in the mix too!
If you feel bored with your sex life, then think about what it is that you’re craving. If it seems somewhere within the realm of reason, then bring it up to your partner.
You might feel embarrassed to discuss a strange sexual fantasy, but in this internet age, they’ve probably heard stranger. If not, then maybe this will excite them too!
More importantly, you agreed to a partnership, which means working together to satisfy the wants and needs of both parties. Trust your partner and allow them to open up about their own fantasies and boundaries.
Do bring up the topic gently though. Telling them your sex life bores you can create an undesired effect and resentment. Instead, propose pushing boundaries for fun and see where the conversation takes you.
3. Disinterest in Intamacy
When one partner seems disinterested in sex, it can really sting. This can fuel insecurities and make the other partner start filling in the blanks with horror stories as to why.
What seems like disinterest may simply be a libido problem. This can bring feelings of inadequacy and shame to the partner experiencing the issue, especially men due to cultural standards.
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4. Performance Pressure
Couples can get comfortable into a routine and start to feel pressured to keep it up. Turning even great sex into a chore can start to choke the fun out of it.
If you feel too much pressure to perform and it starts to put a damper on your sex life, communicate with your partner. Talking about expectations may help them ease up on their expectations.
You might learn that what you perceive as pressure to perform is simply them showing you how much they desire you for your own benefit. Or, it might bring to light that they felt the same pressure!
5. Lack of Romance
One of the biggest sex problems in marriage is the lack of romance. This happens when one or both partners stop trying to win the other over.
While many people brush this off as a natural progression of a relationship, you should never feel okay in allowing your partner to feel less loved. As your relationship starts to feel more practical, get more creative in romancing the love of your life.
Romantic gestures, like love notes, roses, and randomly dancing in public might appear silly and unnecessary. But, they make your partner feel special and add novelty to your relationship.
Light some candles and play a special love song for your lady. Or, surprise your man by wearing his team’s shirt with cute jeans to attend a game, even though you hate baseball. Watch how quickly these silly gestures turn things sensual.
6. Parenting
Funny how kids make the one thing that got them here difficult for you to continue doing. The demands of parenting can cause real trouble in the bedroom.
Sometimes it leads to exhaustion, while other times its resentment that kills the libido. When one parent feels like they do all of the heavy lifting, it may make them feel frustrated. Try to communicate and share parenting duties more equally, considering jobs and housework as well.
Parenting can also lead to moms feeling less sexy than they used to as if they need to uphold a new standard of womanhood. Help your partner feel super sexy by buying her a hot little dress and taking her out for a kid-free night!
The fear of kids barging in during the act can also make sex more scarce. Invest in good locks and work with your children about the importance of privacy and knocking.
7. Reproduction
Wanting to create a baby together can bring on another form of performance pressure. This can make sex feel unnatural and not sexy at all.
Work together to limit the pressures of getting pregnant. Make an effort to keep sex intimate and romantic rather than robotic and solely for the purpose of reproducing.
Keep the Intimacy Alive by Avoiding Marriage Intimacy Problems
Marriage intimacy problems are common and do not signal the end of your relationship. But, if you do not address them early on, that could be your end result.
Focusing on each other’s needs and desires, and building a life together with healthy communication and consistent effort will help keep your intimacy alive, as will keeping yourself in good health! Check out tips in our wellness section!