Photo by Clarisse Meyer on Unsplash
If you grew up with siblings, you know what it’s like to live with someone who steals your stuff, leaves a mess, and gives you sass. While that may be all fine and good with someone you love and have lived with for years, it’s different in college. Your roommate will be different from your siblings or close friends due to different cultures, religions, and habits. So instead of glorifying your roommate by thinking they will be your college best friend, focus on being a good roommate.
Be Clear
The first thing you should do before moving in with someone new is to write a list of your habits and peeves. If you think the door should be locked, write it down. If you don’t like to talk to anyone for the first ten minutes after waking up, write it down. Once you move in, share the list with your roommate. You may find that you agree on somethings and disagree on others. Being clear early on sets an expectation of how you will live together during the next semester. Having clarity in the beginning also helps you find the strength to confront potential problems later on.
Share Schedules
Once you’ve unpacked and gotten comfortable, grab a piece of paper and jot down both you and your roommate’s schedule. Knowing what’s on your roommate’s plate can help you be more considerate of each other. If they have an early class, you can try going to bed early or only use a lamp instead of the main light at night. Meanwhile, they can keep their alarms to a minimum and be quiet in the morning. If you know your roommate’s schedule, it can be less awkward to ask them to be considerate of yours later on.
Clean
If you aren’t used to making your bed or hanging up your clothes, now is the time to develop the habit. It’s unfair to point fingers at your roommate for a mess when you aren’t being clean either. Taking the time every day to make your bed, hang up your clothes, and organize your desk can make your room feel cleaner. It might even influence your roomie to do the same. If it doesn’t though, and you feel stressed due to the disorganized state of the room, simply ask your roommate to pick up their side. It is your space too.
Confront Conflict
If your roommate is constantly playing loud music that you hate, barging in at random hours of the night, or not abiding by any of the agreements you made at the beginning of the semester, confront them. Confrontation isn’t negative. It can feel awkward, but letting the problem slide and then blowing up later is much worse. If you’ve let the problem slide so many times that now you feel it’s too late, it’s not. Don’t use the mindset of “I’ll just stick it out for another month.” You’d be surprised how long it takes four weeks to go by.
Compromise
If you have a problem with your roommate, chances are they have a problem with you too. Be willing to compromise. You can’t expect them to compromise to problems if you don’t. If they approach you about a problem, that could be an opportunity to present an issue you’ve been having. This doesn’t need to be a negative approach—simply acknowledge the problem they’ve had and introduce yours. Then, suggest that you take the time to come up with a compromise for both problems.
Best Roommates
Some places, like Sunrise Village Apartments, will make room assignments based on requests—like living in an apartment with all freshmen, which can help you feel more comfortable. No matter your room assignment, your roommate doesn’t need to be your best friend to be a good roommate. You can find good friends in your classes, at work, or through other activities—and if your roommate situation is truly terrible, you can use those places as an excuse to stay out of the dorm or apartment. Be a good roommate yourself and don’t let a tough situation ruin your college experience.