As something people dream about from the time they were kids, there’s no surprise that so many couples have high expectations of marriage.
In many ways, marriage is better than people can imagine.
You spend all your time with the one you love, you can build a life together, and you will have some incredible memories to look back on.
However, even the happiest of married couples know that there can be bumps along the road, which no one told them about when they were younger.
Luckily, that doesn’t mean every marriage is doomed, quite the opposite.
The best way to navigate these together is by taking note of some important reminders that almost every successful couple swears by.
You can find out what they are and how they can help you by reading on.
It’s not always perfect
Books and movies like to paint the idea that marriage is a fairytale ending. While marrying the one you love is a fairytale in and of itself, it’s not always perfect.
There will be low points, some over serious issues, and some over small annoyances.
Either way, arguments will happen, but it’s important to know that this is OK.
It most certainly doesn’t make your marriage a failure, and every couple has its quirks.
Believe it or not, the most common arguments happen over household issues, like who leaves the toilet seat up, and who takes up the most room in bed.
These do not make or break issues, no matter how annoying they can be, and it’s easy to find the mattress size that works.
For more serious issues, it’s usually finances and infidelity which can cause these rifts. Sometimes, these differences are irreconcilable, and it’s often a relief to accept that.
For couples that have overcome these issues, they vouch for utter transparency and open communication as the key to making things work- sometimes avoiding these issues altogether.
Never go to bed on an argument
It’s a tip you may have learned from your parents, and it’s one many people still swear by.
While it is crucial to give yourself time to digest a situation and cool off when arguments get heated, going to bed on an argument can lead to tensions.
Not only can this keep you both awake, but it can also mean you never resolve an issue and it may arise again.
Many people would agree there’s also nothing worse than going to bed without feeling the warmth of your partner in a hug.
If you’re ever feeling wound up, take a moment to step away and collect your breath.
Perhaps you prefer a quick de-stressing meditation so you can approach the situation in a more level-headed way.
Then, talk the issue over calmly before bed. Not only will you be able to sleep better, but you won’t have anything to dread waking up to in the morning.
Make time for each other
When you have a family and a busy job, it can feel difficult to make time for just the two of you.
This minimal contact can lead to issues like loneliness and a lack of intimacy, which can push a couple apart from each other.
This time is also key for helping you form more memories for you to look back on together later in life.
Get around this by leaning to spot this issue in its early stages, so you can both sit down and figure out how you can make more time for each other before the effects become more damaging.
For example, if it’s your kids taking up most of your time and energy, ask family members to watch them while you escape for a romantic weekend away.
These romantic moments don’t have to be far away, and you can have fun time trying out ways to have a romantic weekend at home.
Be your own person
When two people get married, it’s a fusion of their souls into one. It’s a beautiful moment to witness during a ceremony, and most married couples will fashion their identity together from that point on.
This is one of the best parts about being married, but it can also be unhealthy if both of you begin to lose your identity.
You may feel less independent, you may be missing out on a social life with your loved ones, or you may no longer feel like yourself.
It’s easy to get stuck in this rut, but you should know that it’s healthy to spend time apart.
Try some confidence boosters to help if you’ve not spent time apart in a while, and encourage each other to be your happiest selves.
You might wish to take up a new hobby or go on a skiing weekend with the girls.
As long as it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt your partner, go ahead. You may even find that the happier you are being your own person, the more selfless kind of life partner you’ll be.
It’s all about the small things
Chick-flicks are all about grand gestures and expensive gifts. These things can be great every once in a while, but remind yourself that it’s not the reason you and your partner fell in love.
When married couples look back on their time together, it’s often the small but profound moments that make them smile.
Cooking your partner a hot meal after they’ve had a long day at work, being carried to bed after falling asleep on the sofa, enjoying sunset strolls on summer evenings- those are the moments to cherish.
Make sure you commit to these small moments. You’ll never know just how much they mean to your partner.
If you’re ever feeling low, draw positive energy from these times and remember that marriage is, to every couple, its own kind of fairytale.