You may have been dating your partner for the last few years and you think it’s time to move in together.
You might spend most of your time at their place or them at yours anyway.
Before you make the leap and sign a lease or buy a house together, pay attention to the signs. These signs will let you know if you’re both ready to live together.
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Signs You’re Ready to Move in Together
1. It Feels Right
Moving in together shouldn’t feel like it’s forced, or you’re pressured. Make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.
Just because you’ve been dating for several years doesn’t mean you should live together.
When you feel it in your gut that you’re making the right decision, then it’s time.
2. You Agree on All Budgets
Will you pay rent 50-50 regardless of income disparity, share bank accounts, have a separate account just for bills? Who will put their name on the utilities?
These questions and more will need to be answered before you move in.
If your partner isn’t willing to budge or compromise on financial discussions, you might want to reconsider moving in together.
3. You’ve Already Lived with Someone Before
If you’ve lived with someone before, you have wisdom the other person doesn’t.
We don’t mean that you live with another person like siblings or parents as a child, although that could help. Living with someone prior to moving in with your current partner will allow you to see from the other person’s perspective.
It also gives you an expectation of what it’ll be like.
4. You’ve Worked Out a Schedule
Everyone is different. Some people are night owls, others are early risers. When you only see your loved one on certain days or times, you might not notice this.
It’s important to learn each other’s schedules for everything like work, sleep and wake times, and any hobbies. You may need sleep starting at 10 pm whereas they don’t sleep until 3 am.
Major differences in schedule don’t indicate you can’t move in together or need to break up.
It does mean you might have to have lengthy discussions and compromises if you do want to live together.
While it seems ridiculous, some couples that experience a wide difference in schedules rent or purchase homes with multiple bedrooms.
This helps to not disturb the other’s sleep schedules or interfere with hobby times.
5. Division of Household Chores Has Been Established
Before you live together, it’s important you discuss the division of labor. Your partner may work grueling hours with manual labor whereas you work a regular 9-5 or vice versa.
Alternatively, one of you might stay home. You might suggest the one who works less or has a manual labor job will do fewer chores than the other.
Some people suggest 50-50 chores regardless of the other’s job and you pick chores you hate the least.
Both of you will have to come to an agreement before you sign a lease or buy a home. It’ll create less stress, problems, and lessen resentment.
6. You Discuss Relationship Issues
You should be able to discuss any problems that arise in a relationship. This means no name-calling, threatening to break up, or yelling/screaming at each other.
Healthy relationships discuss issues without this. If your relationship doesn’t reflect this, it’s time to reconsider moving in together.
In some cases, it might be worth reevaluating the entire relationship.
7. You Aren’t Moving in Together to Save Money
Avoid moving in together to save money.
You’re better off doing this with family or a friend than your relationship. It might make sense to you if you get to split the costs of living and live with someone you care for, but it comes with a set of challenges.
You shouldn’t move in together just because you have to.
Both parties should want to live together.
This becomes especially true when you haven’t considered the big picture.
You might think of the fun you will have but not realize you take their whole life, habits, personality traits, and their problems when you move in together.
8. You’re on the Same Page for the Future
You certainly don’t want to move in with your partner if you’re not serious or plan to be together short-term. Additionally, you want all plans to synchronize.
The move won’t work if you want to have a high-profile job and live in the city and your partner prefers the rural countryside and a blue-collar living.
Similarly, you might want to discuss sharing finances, children, and pets.
If your futures don’t seem to align, it can spell the end of the relationship and a sign you shouldn’t live together.
9. You Know Your Partner’s Bad Habits
Everyone has bad or annoying habits. When you’re new in the relationship or even long-term, the habits may seem cute or not so bad. However, you get to leave at the end of the night.
When you live together, there’s no getting around it. Some habits make it difficult to live together.
For example, messiness, laziness, or even a clean freak will wear on your nerves over time. Before you move in together, discuss it with your partner and make compromises.
10. You Spend the Majority of Your Time at Their Place
The longer you date your partner, it’s natural to begin to frequently spend nights or weekends at their house.
Some people might even spend weeks at a time at their partner’s place. If the time spent at their place or yours goes smoothly mostly, it’s a good sign of what living together will look like.
On the other hand, if you fight like cats and dogs, it’s worth taking a step back.
This doesn’t mean you have to break up, but you should be careful living together.