As elderly parents age, it can be a challenging time navigating through this journey. There are some elderly parents that will be happy with downsizing and moving into a smaller home or moving into a retirement home but others will not be too happy and will resist leaving a home they might have lived in for years.
If you are trying to figure out what to do when an elderly parent refuses to move, here are our tips to help you.
- Listen
Even though you think that it is best for your parent to move they might not agree. It is important to listen to them and hear why they feel they should stay in their home. Having an open conversation where you truly listen to your parent is important to avoid your parent resenting you in the future.
You never know what their concerns are until you hear them out. When they share their concerns you can help them have peace of mind by addressing those fears they might have.
- Discuss All Options
If your parent is able to move around on their own take them to see different facilities that you are considering. Whether those are smaller condos, apartments, or a nursing home. You want them to see that area for themselves and any amenities they will also have.
If it is a nursing home they can check out the rooms, meet the staff and even try out the food available. If they are not as mobile you can check if the nursing home has a video tour on their website or maybe you can go yourself and take video to show them. Remind them that there are over a million people that live in nursing homes and they wouldn’t be alone.
Another option might be to get in-home medical care or someone to spend time with them while you can’t be there. Having a trained nurse practitioner come to their home can give you peace of mind that medically they are cared for, and having someone with them to give them rides to the store and to keep them companionship will also help you know they are being looked after.
- Treat Your Parent Like an Adult
Even though you really want to help your parent and might feel like your roles switched always treat them like an adult. Do not infantilize your parent under any circumstances.
If you attempt to threaten them by sending them to a nursing home because they are not listening, this can cause tension and end up costing you your relationship with your parents.
The end goal is to help your parents have the best care and life possible, which means that the more respect you show them, the easier it will be for them to listen. Treat your parents like adults for everything, from helping them with simple tasks to helping them with treatments such as their diabetes.
- Talk About Their Grandkids
A great way for parents to listen is when you involve the grandkids. Ask them to do it for their grandkids if they want to be there for them for a long time. If they are not willing to do it for themselves they might be more willing to do it for someone they love.
You can also make sure that they understand how worried their grandchildren are and how it is affecting them.
- Mother in Law Home
If you live in an area where you can add an addition to your home, this might be an option they are willing to opt for. Opting for accessory dwelling units is great and you can make them resemble how their current home looks like inside or you can have them choose everything to decorate and accessorize their new living headquarters.
- Wait
If they are not on board with moving then leave the situation alone for a bit and then come back to the topic in a few weeks or a few months. After some time they might be a bit easier to convince especially If they find themselves having a more difficult time doing things like going up and down their stairs, or cooking.
After some time they might also lose some people in their network that made things easier for them. Some of their friends might begin to move away making them feel more isolated and lonely than supported.
If you get lucky they might realize after some time that they need more help than they realize.
- Outside Help
If worst comes to worst you can seek help from your family doctor or from a social worker if your parent is showing signs of dementia or something similar. Sometimes parents are more willing to listen to others than their own children.
The reason is that they have been telling you what to do their whole life and now the roles are reversed. This can be a difficult reality for them to come to grips with and listening to advice from a professional or stranger might be easier for them and for you.
Now You Know What to Do When an Elderly Parent Refuses to Move
Hopefully, now you know what to do when an elderly parent refuses to move and feel more confident moving forward. The most important thing you can do is treat your parent with love and kindness at all times. After all, they are your parents, you want to make sure that you respect them at all times.
Did our blog post come in handy today? Please check back often to never miss our latest.