Learn the signs and how to have the most difficult conversations you may ever need to have.
Addiction doesn’t only affect the person with the problem. It affects their family and friends in a major way. It’s often difficult to get a loved one to see that they need help for their drug or alcohol use, no matter how many times a loved one says it. Many times, addicts are in denial about their drug or alcohol use or they minimalize it, so they don’t believe that they need to attend a drug rehab treatment center. Other times, it is fear that keeps them from seeking help.
As family members or friends, some individuals may even start to believe that what their loved one is saying is true. So, the first step to getting them help is recognizing that they do need it.
How to Know When a Loved One Has a Drug or Alcohol Problem
Most drug abusers try to hide their symptoms and minimize their problem. When drug abuse is suspected, there are typically some warning signs present, these include:
- Bloodshot or red eyes, smaller or larger pupils
- Sudden weight changes
- Changes in appetite
- Changes in sleep behaviors or insomnia
- Changed in hygiene or grooming habits
- Unusual odors on breath, body, or clothing
- Shaking, slurred speech, or motor impairment
- Being more secretive
- Unexplained absences at work or school
- Unexplained financial problems
- Change in friends and hangouts
- Getting into accidents, altercations, or legal issues
- Personality changes
- Mood swings
- Irritability or anger
- Unexplained agitation or hyperactivity
- Lethargy or lack of motivation
- Appearing anxious or paranoid
Symptoms of drug abuse may be different depending on which drug is being abused, but the above provides a starting point for what to look for.
When a Loved One Doesn’t Want Help for Their Addiction
It’s quite likely that when someone is first approached about getting help in a drug addiction treatment program, they will not want to go. They may even deny that there is a problem or say that they have it under control. It’s always best to approach the situation with love and compassion and not do it in a forceful way, but simply talking to the addicted person doesn’t always work. Some families choose to plan an intervention to show the person that he or she is loved, but the addiction is not.
What Is an Intervention?
Interventions are thoughtfully planned out processes that are typically done by an addict’s family and friends, in consultation with a doctor, addiction therapist, or an interventionist. Sometimes others are present including coworkers, clergy, or others who are close to and care about the person who is addicted.
The intervention involves these people gathering together in an effort to confront the loved one who is addicted about the consequences of addiction and make an offer of drug or alcohol treatment. Each person attending tells the addicted person how their addictive behaviors are destructive and how they impact those around them. A prearranged offer of treatment is extended to the loved one and then each person explains what they will do if the addicted person refuses to accept the offer of treatment. The hope is that the individual will see how addiction is causing negative consequences, that they will not have the support of their loved ones if they continue to use, and that going to treatment is really their only good choice.
The success of an intervention requires that the whole intervention process is carefully planned and executed. The message to the addicted person shouldn’t be confrontational otherwise it could worsen the situation.
When a Loved One is Ready for Rehab
Having an intervention doesn’t always work and the individual may still refuse to go to treatment. While it’s disappointing when that happens, it’s important to remember that a seed has been planted and the individual will know that family and friends will be supportive when he or she is ready to seek help at a drug rehab center.
When the idea of getting help seems less painful than the idea of continuing to live as they are (in active addiction), an addicted person may decide to take family members up on their offer of getting them some help. When that happens, it’s important to be ready. Until then, family members have to be patient but follow through on what they said during the intervention – that recovery will be wholeheartedly supported, but addiction will not.