Being able to recognize toxic behavior is important for maintaining your own mental health and well-being. People who are toxic frequently use specific phrases to manipulate and control others. If you are hearing any of these nine phrases, they are a major red flag that you’re dealing with someone who is toxic.
1. “You’re Too Sensitive”
This phrase is often used by toxic people. It lets them put the blame on you and invalidates your feelings. Saying “you’re too sensitive” can make you question your emotions. It is a form of gaslighting that can make you doubt yourself. If you hear this phrase often, it is a sign that someone is trying to manipulate you and undermine your feelings.
2. “I Was Just Joking”
“I was just joking” is another way toxic people will try and manipulate your feelings. This is a way for them to disguise their hurtful comments as jokes. When you confront them about what they said, they will say that you can’t take a joke. Oftentimes, this leads to you feeling overly sensitive and questioning your reactions to things. Really, it is a subtle way to belittle you. Recognizing this as toxic behavior will help you set healthy boundaries.
3. “No One Else Thinks That”
If someone says this phrase to you, they are attempting to make you feel isolated from others. They are telling you that no one else shares your thoughts or feelings, which can make you feel alone and unsupported by friends or family. This phrase is a tactic to control and manipulate you. Ultimately, it is aimed at making you more dependent on the toxic person.
4. “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”
Although this phrase starts with “I’m sorry,” it is anything but an apology. Toxic people often like to try and shift blame onto you when confronted about their behavior. Rather than take any responsibility for their actions, they will act like your emotions are the problem. If you hear this phrase, it is a huge red flag. This individual is not interested in resolving conflicts or trying to understand your perspective.
5. “You Made Me Do It”
Again, shifting the blame is a key trait of a toxic person. When they say that you made them do something, they are attempting to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. “You made me do it” is used to make you feel guilty and responsible for whatever it is they’ve done. It is important to know that you can’t be held responsible for another person’s actions.
6. “If You Loved Me, You Would”
Of all the phrases in a toxic person’s tool bag, this one is one of the most manipulative. They are attempting to tie your love to specific actions and make you feel obligated to meet whatever demands they’re making. By starting a sentence with, “If you loved me, you would,” is a way to control your behavior. It will also make you question your love and loyalty. No healthy relationship will make you feel this way.
7. “I’m Only Telling You This Because I Love You”
Again, this phrase brings your love and loyalty into question. Toxic people often use these words to justify hurtful comments or harsh criticism. They will try to say that their words come from a place of love, which makes it difficult to set healthy boundaries. In the end, they are masking their true intentions. Anyone showing genuine love and concern will not belittle you or make demeaning comments about you.
8. “This Is All Your Fault”
Talk about trying to shift the blame. This phrase literally places the blame on you for something that likely isn’t your fault at all. It makes it so they avoid taking any responsibility for their actions and makes you feel guilty for something that you didn’t do. Using this phrase is textbook manipulation and being able to identify this toxic language will help you maintain your mental health.
9. “You Can’t Live Without Me”
A toxic person will do everything they can to make you dependent on them. By making you feel like you can’t survive without them, they create a sense of dependency. “You can’t live without me” is a phrase that is often used to manipulate you into staying with them. If they are able to make you believe this is true, it can become incredibly difficult to leave the relationship. It is important for you to recognize that this is toxic behavior.
Each Of These Phrases Is A Red Flag
Being able to recognize these phrases as toxic behavior will help you protect your own mental well-being and self-worth. If you suddenly realize you are hearing one (or all) of these phrases often, you may need to take a step back and reevaluate your relationships. It may also be advisable to seek help from a professional or look for support from friends and family.