You’re probably familiar with many cases of not leaving a toxic relationship. It’s quite a common thing. I am sure some of your friends, colleagues, or acquaintances bared through years of pain and hardships, but still justified the actions of their partner. Maybe you have been in that situation as well (we all have). But for some reason, you didn’t manage to break off a toxic circle for the longest time possible, neglecting your own needs and not addressing your issues. Why does this happen? How to prevent this scummy attitude towards yourself and finally break up with a toxic girlfriend.?
This is why you give a second chance to toxic relationships and decide to go for round two:
- She apologized
We often think that the main goal of solving a conflict is getting someone’s apology. We also tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, thinking they did it with all sincerity. She may ask your forgiveness, promising it will never happen again. Yet if your girlfriend continues acting the same, applying her toxic pattern, apologies don’t mean much. Despite her looking sappy for hurting you and despite the visible sincerity of her apology, you still shouldn’t forget why you were mad in the first place. You love her, so you probably are trying to concentrate on her good side. This makes you believe your partner every time they disappoint you, giving them a second chance.
- You went through thick and thin together
If you don’t date now and are in a sturdy legit relationship, that doesn’t mean it can’t be toxic. Maybe you contributed too much into this relationship, winning her attention, letting go of unpleasant situations, being there for her at all times. It can be the reason why you don’t want to drop a person, even if she put you in a bad headspace and overall brings more negativity into your life. You don’t want all these suffering to be in vain. So even the slightest possibility for you to be all right again gives you hope. You can sacrifice a lot for that chance. But you need to give yourself an honest answer. If one thing you are always sacrificing is your mental health, it is not worth it. Love is not a battle. It is not supposed to hurt.
- You blame yourself for bad situations
When your girlfriend is constantly manipulating, you usually can’t tell whether there was a grounded reason for her to be mad at you. But your brain will still try to explain this situation somehow, so you choose to be the martyr. Maybe you weren’t paying enough attention, neglected her somehow, made her jealous? You find dozens of reasons to be proven wrong. Maybe you feel too unattractive or insecure to do better than that? You need to trust yourself and believe in yourself to break this neverending circle of mental abuse.
- You don’t want to admit these relationships failed
Yes, you like how she treated you lately. So much you could forgive and forget her toxicity. It’s quite understandable you still like her and remember her the day you met. You know that deep down she’s that sweet, cute, caring. And you still hope to get that person back.
- You lie to yourself
Maybe you try to tell yourself it’s all good? Or do you think she just has bad emotional baggage? Or do you tell yourself something you both want to hear? Anyway, all of this is not important when it comes to your partner’s manipulation. It doesn’t matter how cute she was, how good she treats you sometimes. You still need to leave a toxic relationship.
- You are scared for her life after your breakup
If you still have feelings for this person, it certainly moves you when she says she can’t live without you. And if she manipulates you into thinking she’d do something to herself, this concern always makes you stay. Please don’t stay with a person who goes as far as saying that. Deep down you know she wouldn’t do anything, it’s just an exaggerated way to keep you to herself. And if she has this kind of problem, immediately seek help and make sure someone stays by her side. But it’s not your responsibility to suffer every day because of these promises.