We celebrate a lot of milestones in our lives. The birth of our child. The wedding of our best friend. Quitting a job and starting a new career. We even have rituals to commemorate the death of a family or a loved one. We find every reason to celebrate life, and yes, even death. But why do we not have a party to celebrate divorce?
It is something that is frowned upon. We refuse to talk about it like it is a disease that has no cure. People veer away from the topic even though we all know someone, even if that person is a friend’s friend or a distant cousin, who has gone through or is going through a divorce.
A lot of people are left heartbroken and blindsided after a divorce. The process itself is brutal and painful, especially when your spouse has cheated on you. It can get messy, with Kent, WA divorce attorneys coming in, relatives wanting to get involved, the discussion for child custody, and the like. It takes a toll on both parties, regardless of who initiated it. But this is precisely the reason why divorce parties are brilliant. A divorce party can be the closure you never had. It is also a great way to show your support to a loved one who is going through a divorce to remind them of all the love and support that remains in starting a new chapter in their lives.
There is no perfect timing to plan a divorce party. Everyone reacts to their heartbreak differently. And since each relationship is unique, it is difficult to pinpoint an exact timeline to mark “moving on”. Decide when you are ready. Do not feel the pressure of throwing a “divorce party” just because it is trendy or you see celebrities posting it on Instagram. It could be a year after you finalize your divorce or the exact day that you sign your papers. You always decide the timing.
When people hear the word “party”, it usually involves booze and loud music. This does not always have to be the case. If you and your friends enjoy getting tipsy and dancing to Jennifer Lopez songs, then by all means. But if your idea of unwinding is an out of town beach trip with your girlfriends, sun tanning and stuffing your face with vegan food, then do exactly that.
The point of having a divorce party is to celebrate this new season in your life and to celebrate it the way you and your friends know best. Climb that mountain with your crew, throw an un-bridal party, book a nail salon, or hold a potluck party in your house and bond over some home-cooked meals and a bottle of wine, you decide what the theme of your party is depending on your coping mechanisms and your definition of “letting go”.
Do not lose sight of the purpose of the celebration. It is a reminder of your strength and the beginning of something new in your life. Closing a chapter of your life does not mean forgetting that the marriage ever happened. It is gracefully accepting that things sometimes do not work out and that is alright.