Few things in life are harder to go through than losing someone you love. You want to be there for your friends in their time of need.
However, such occasions can make it challenging to know what to say or do.
Fortunately, you have multiple ways to demonstrate your understanding and empathy.
Here are nine ways you can support a friend going through loss.
1. Send a Meaningful Gift
You might want nothing more than to be there for the one you love as they go through a loss. However, circumstances can sometimes make the distance seem great.
For example, you shouldn’t travel if you are sick with symptoms of COVID-19, even if you are fully vaccinated or recovered from the disease in the past.
The risk posed to other passengers on enclosed transport is too extreme.
However, you can still show you care from across the miles.
A heartfelt gift like a bouquet handcrafted with personalized details can speak volumes. It’s the next best thing to being there.
2. Check-In
Losing a loved one is one of life’s top five most stressful events. The devastation can push some people over the edge. The trouble grows worse if they feel like no one else cares.
It’s no exaggeration to say that a phone call could save a life.
Establish a time to check in with your friend, even if you don’t make it an official date with them.
Contacting them to see how they’re doing regularly reminds them that they have a support system of others ready and willing to uplift them in their time of need.
3. Spread the News
One of the hardest parts of losing someone you love is breaking the news to others. If your friend isn’t up to the task, respectfully ask how you can help.
For example, you might ask if you can talk to the boss if you work together.
They may need time to grieve but hesitate.
Writing an obituary is intensely personal, but you could offer to help them craft one if they struggle with the written word.
The one thing you should avoid is spreading the news on social media.
Doing so can result in your friend receiving a flurry of supportive messages that can nevertheless sting in the initial hours following a loss.
4. Cook
Death complicates daily life. Your friend going through a loss now has to make funeral arrangements amid their routine work and family responsibilities.
Frankly, they might feel too emotionally devastated to move much from bed.
However, the living need to eat. You can share a meal with your friend if they need company.
If they prefer to be alone, supply them with healthy freezer favorites that they only need to toss into the Instant Pot or microwave to heat.
5. Run an Errand
Planning a funeral means managing multiple details — like picking up their best black suit from the dry cleaner. However, your mourning friend might lack the energy.
Ask what you can do to help your friend.
If the thought of combing their hair to run to the grocery store drives them to tears, add their shopping list to yours.
Offer to make phone calls to schedule limousines and whatever else they may need for the final service.
6. Mind the Littles
Children don’t always understand death. They might not recognize why their parents are behaving differently.
Trying to explain the loss can be too much for a grieving mother or father to bear.
Offer to step in and babysit. If your friend needs some alone time, extend the invitation for the kids to sleep over one weekend.
Better yet, pack your sleeping bag and spend time mourning together while helping keep the youngest family members supervised and safe.
7. Help With Chores
Mourning can lead to temporary depression. This condition saps your energy, making it challenging to get out of bed.
However, the sight of a messy house can further dishearten the heartiest souls.
You can help with chores without saying a word — tackle that overflowing sink full of dishes or vacuum the Cheerio-littered rug.
Chances are, they’ll want to have a tidy abode to welcome visitors after services, and your efforts can take considerable stress off their heads.
8. Share the Workload
If your friend going through a loss is also a colleague, see what you can do to lighten their workload while they mourn.
The United States stands alone in not mandating any paid family leave, meaning your friend may have to return to the office the day after the funeral.
Many workplaces allow for three days of bereavement — but such policies don’t cover all losses, such as an unmarried partner.
It doesn’t make the pain less difficult to bear.
You can help by answering their phone calls and doing whatever else you can to ease their workload if they have to clock in before they feel ready.
9. Attend Services
Perhaps the simplest way to show you care is to attend the funeral service of your friend’s deceased loved one, assuming you get the invite.
Your presence means more than the mourner may be able to express in words.
Dress appropriately and contribute flowers if you have the means. Offer your sincere condolences to them and their family.
Support a Friend Going Through Loss
The death of someone you love is one of the most challenging things any of us face. Support your friend going through loss in the nine above ways.