What is ADHD?
ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is a psychological condition characterized by impulsivity, a lack of focus, and hyperactive behaviors.
While many who suffer from the disorder discover their diagnosis in childhood, there are often many adults that go untreated and undiagnosed, too.
There are plenty of myths that pervade discussions of ADHD in society, much of them focusing on how ADHD can affect relationships in the workplace and affect the quality of work.
One area that perhaps needs more focus is relationships at home and how they become strained, especially if more than one person is suffering from the condition.
Relationships are difficult to navigate.
This is true even when two people without any psychological disorders are partners.
When something as complex and as frustrating as ADHD is thrown into the mix, relationships can grow unhealthy, triggering worsening ADHD symptoms.
How ADHD Affects Relationships
When someone has ADHD, they may lack a general attentiveness needed to nurture a relationship.
Dates and important appointments can fall to the wayside, anniversaries may be forgotten, and simple things like shopping lists may take weeks to complete.
Frustrations build up on both sides. If someone is taking care of all the responsibilities in the home and one partner isn’t, this animosity leads to arguments.
Impulsive behaviors like impulse buying can put a strain on financials.
Couples with one partner struggling with ADHD may often have trouble being on time for anything. All of these issues are compounded if both partners in the relationship are struggling with ADHD.
How To Repair Relationships
Understanding The Symptoms
If you or your partner are suffering from ADHD, it’s important that both of you understand the symptoms of the condition and what kind of options there are for those looking for healthy ways to cope with them.
Some people who struggle with ADHD lack self-awareness that would enable them to better address their symptoms.
Knowledge of the disorder–its triggers, symptoms, and treatments–provides a stable foundation on which to build a healthy relationship.
Even if you are not a partner with ADHD, educate yourself on the disorder.
Knowing your partner’s triggers and when your partner is susceptible to ADHD-induced anger or anxiety is paramount to maintaining a healthy relationship.
Ask your partner to describe how they’re feeling and urge them to maintain an open dialogue about how they’re progressing through the day.
If you or your partner are particularly good at something that the other isn’t, play off each other’s strengths.
For instance, if you’re better at organizing a room and your partner gets frustrated when trying to arrange anything, take the task off their hands and replace it with something they’re better suited to do.
Seek Treatment
While ADHD can be at the root of many of the behaviors ADHD sufferers experience, underlying conditions and symptoms can still be managed with the proper treatments.
Many experts agree that simply one treatment for ADHD is not the most effective way to overcome issues with the condition.
There are a number of options these days, from medication to meditation.
Cognitive-behavior therapy, group counseling sessions, and exercise are all viable treatments to help supplement medication like Vyvanse and Adderall.
Talk with your primary care doctor or mental health specialist and see what they suggest in helping combat the individual ADHD symptoms that can plague a loving relationship.
Above All Else, Try
When a relationship is unbalanced–financially, emotionally, mentally–that relationship is headed for failure. Unbalanced relationships lead to frustration, anger, hatred, and an eventual end.
For people with ADHD, these pitfalls will be difficult to avoid, but they are avoidable.
A proactive attitude, healthy curiosity, and support from your partner will be elements to lean on when trying to maintain a healthy relationship with ADHD.
The most important element, though, when trying to maintain a relationship when struggling with ADHD is to stay determined.
What works for others might not work for your specific relationship dynamic, and what works for you might not work for others.
Stay vigilant, try a combination of therapies, and show your partner you’re willing to go the extra mile to maintain the love the two of you share.
Above all else, your partner wants to know you care about them and care about keeping your bond strong.
By committing to the relationship and fending off the impulsivity, forgetfulness, and anger that shows up when ADHD comes calling, you show them that your priority is their love and affection.
You’re not going to win the fight against ADHD every single time.
Impulsivity will sneak its way through. Hyperactivity will rear its ugly head after a malaligned cup of coffee.
There is no cure for ADHD, but you can successfully manage the symptoms with the help of a good medical team.
The best team to combat ADHD, though, is the one you nurture at home. Keep an open, loving relationship, one free from the stresses of ADHD, and you’ll live a much healthier, happier life.
About the Author
Jenn Walker is a freelance writer, blogger, dog-enthusiast, and avid beachgoer operating out of Southern New Jersey. She frequently writes for a number of health and wellness clients, including Klarity ADHD, a service for online ADHD treatment and diagnosis.