Having a loved one in jail is very tough for both of you. It can have a significant impact on your everyday life, mentally and financially. There is a lot of emotional stress that comes with a loved one becoming incarcerated, therefore, dealing with this effectively will aid you in living life as normally as possible whilst they are imprisoned. Although you need to think about your loved one’s feelings and be there for them too, it is difficult to be committed to helping someone when you are not dealing with your own emotions.
Try Not to Grieve
When a loved one goes to prison, it is a lot like losing them completely. This can lead many people to grieve as if that person has passed away. It is incredibly important that you steer clear from any feelings of grief, as this will make it even harder to deal with the issue at hand. You are not losing that person forever, you can still contact them, it will just be different than before. It does take time to get used to this new way of contact, but writing to them is one way to get these feelings onto paper and is almost like having a conversation with them. A letter to my brother in prison is a good read for those going through similar circumstances.
Take Good Care of Yourself
To be able to be there and support your loved one, you need to look after yourself. When dealing with such an emotional stressor, it is difficult to remember to look after yourself, but this will make things even worse for you in the long run. Taking good care of yourself and keeping busy and in a routine will help the days go by and keep you distracted from the fact at hand. It may be something as simple as getting up the same time each morning and getting out of the house for some fresh air. You may find it helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor.
Organize Yourself
Your day to day life may change dramatically if the loved one who has gone to prison was your partner. This can lead to financial issues, as well as childcare issues. If you relied on them a lot, it is vital you get yourself organized quickly or you will feel the loss even more. It may be that you need to find a job or find childcare and the sooner this is organized, the more in control you will feel of your own life. Keeping your mind busy can help you cope with this situation. You may want to rearrange the house and put up any photos that remind you of the good times you have had with your loved one.
In any situation such as this, it is important to remember the good times that you have had together, rather than holding onto the fact they are not with you at the present moment. This takes time but it will come naturally as you begin to deal with your emotions and take control of your life.