Although some people say the phrase “happy wife, happy life” sarcastically, we think it’s actually a great piece of relationship advice. Prioritizing your spouse’s happiness and striving to put her first will no doubt improve the quality of your marriage. To help you make your wife feel special and appreciated, here are nine small ways you can demonstrate your love for her. From surprising her with a little treat to relieving her mental load, performing these acts of kindness will help keep the spark alive in your marriage.
1. Let Her Decide
An easy way to make your wife feel appreciated is to let her make small, everyday decisions. When you’re debating what type of takeout to order or which show to watch, allow her to take the lead. Listening to her favorite music or going to her preferred restaurant will make her feel special. Although this requires a bit of sacrifice on your part, the quality of your relationship will improve if you put her first.
2. Surprise Her With Treats
The easiest way to brighten your wife’s day is to buy her a special treat. Surprising her with flowers, chocolate, or her favorite baked goods on a random weekday will make her feel loved. Relationships are all about the little things, so don’t underestimate the importance of small gestures. This small act of romance will let your wife know you were thinking about her and trying to put her first.
3. Give Her The Day Off
Especially if you have kids, giving your wife the day or weekend away from the family can be a huge treat. Ideally, make it into a fun adventure for the kids and you’ll be getting brownie points from everyone! Go camping for the night or head to the zoo for the day, allowing your wife to rest and have some alone time. Our spouses do a lot; recognizing that and making sure they have the time and space to unwind can go a long way.
4. Prioritize Date Night
By the time the weekend rolls around, you’re probably itching to hang out with your buddies. But spending quality time with your wife is important, so you should try to put her first and prioritize date night. After all, your weekday evenings together probably aren’t romantic if you have kids. Between homework and bathtime, you likely don’t get much of a chance to genuinely connect. To ensure a happy wife and happy life, take her out for a romantic dinner at least once or twice a month so you can keep your spark alive.
5. Give Her Your Undivided Attention
At the end of a long day, it may be difficult to be a good listener and give your wife undivided attention. You may prefer to zone out and watch TV, but pillow talk is important to many women. Putting the electronics away and taking the time to genuinely connect with your wife will help keep your bond strong. Bonus points if you rub her feet while chatting!
6. Use Your Unique Skills to Improve Her Life
Does your wife routinely complain about something you have the ability to fix? Another way to put her first is to use your unique skills to make her life better. If she’s always bemoaning the lack of storage in the mudroom, build her some extra shelves as a surprise. Whether her computer is running too slowly or her car needs an oil change, proactively solving her problems will show her you care.
7. Create a Fun Routine
Whenever possible, my partner brings me breakfast in bed as part of our morning routine. Sometimes it’s just a bread roll and a cup of tea due to time constraints, but this gesture means a lot to me. Are there any daily or weekly rituals you could start to make your wife feel loved? Perhaps you could try cooking her a new recipe once a week or reading a book together before bed every night. Establishing fun routines and building regular points of connection into your week will help your relationship thrive.
8. Prioritize Positive Interactions
According to Purdue, research has shown that it takes three positive interactions between a couple to outweigh a single negative one. Our spouse sees us at our best and worst, but try to keep this ratio in mind if your relationship has been feeling less harmonious lately. Although life can be hard and disagreements are inevitable, we can all work toward increasing the number of happy moments we share with our spouse. Showing affection to your partner, giving her a compliment, or joking around are things you can do to change the tone of your day and turn things around.
9. Relieve Her Mental Load
According to Forbes, women usually carry more of the mental load in relationships. They take on the role of organizing the household and become the lead project manager, which can be stressful. Looking for ways to relieve this mental burden can help improve your relationship. Taking over some of the household scheduling responsibilities and doing chores without being asked goes a long way. Having a conversation with your wife about how you can share the mental load more equally may also be helpful.
Show Her How Much You Love Her
You’re probably putting some of these suggestions to work in your relationship already. However, being extra mindful of how you’re showing up for your wife can strengthen your marriage. Try to do something kind for your partner every day and show her a little extra bit of love. Odds are your efforts will be reciprocated, creating a positive feedback loop of affection that will deepen your bond.