Your life after divorce can be new and uncomfortable, especially when you decide it might be time to start dating again. As you start to explore the modern dating scene, read about badoink, research places to meet local singles, and hear horror stories from single friends, you may begin to feel like never leaving your home again.
Take some deep breaths, center yourself, and follow these five tips for dating after divorce:
Spend Time With Yourself First
While the prospect of being alone can be scary, it is important to spend time figuring out your solo identity before rejoining the dating scene. Doing so will help you address any insecurities or challenges you faced during your last relationship, and consider how to stop yourself from carrying them forward. Developing a strong sense of self-awareness can be paramount before dating again.
Now is also a great time to try things you didn’t have a chance to before. Sometimes during a marriage, we become so bogged down with daily tasks that we forget to spend time exploring our hobbies and pursuing our passions. If you wanted to start a new fitness class, art lessons, or try skydiving, now is the time!
Define What You’re Looking For
“Dating” is an all-encompassing term that refers to seeing other people. It does not differentiate those looking for casual interactions from those looking for something serious. Before you enter this muddled playing field, you need to know what you’re looking for. Your goal will define where you look, who you date, and how you proceed during those encounters.
Be aware that you may enter the dating scene with a certain idea about what you want and end up going in a completely different direction. That’s perfectly fine, as long as you are happy with the result.
Lean on Your Support System
When you end a long-term relationship or marriage, it is often said that you find out who your friends are. Don’t be afraid to continue leaning on your friends and loved ones for support as you start dating again. They’ll be your anchor if you find yourself confused about your feelings, over analyzing messages and exchanging positive and negative experiences.
Remember that it is also ok to want to go through this experience alone. Just don’t isolate yourself from those who love you. Furthermore, be sure to reciprocate the support for your friends. While they might not be experiencing the same challenges, everyone needs someone to lean on.
Don’t Settle
Now is the time when you can be excessively selective in your choices. Date people with different interests that usually wouldn’t appeal to you-you may discover a side of yourself you didn’t know existed. If you aren’t feeling enthusiastic about someone, don’t date them any longer, even if they’re really nice. Date multiple people at the same time, until you find someone with whom you want to be exclusive.
Just because you refuse to settle doesn’t mean you need to be unkind. Be polite, maintain your dignity, and rely on that old “it’s not you; it’s me” line whenever things go sour.
Give Yourself Permission to Be Happy
If you remember nothing else, remember this: you are allowed to be happy. Make it your mantra and repeat it in a mirror if you need to. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on your mistakes fo the past or think about how you could have saved your marriage. Think about all you have to offer to someone and what you deserve in return.
When you re-enter the dating world, you might have some truly miserable experiences. You will learn a lot about who you are and who you want to be with. And someday, you’ll find the person who makes all the hard work worth it, and you’ll be happier than you ever thought possible.
Prakhar Verma
Sunday 10th of March 2019
Such an amazing post, Kelly.
When you're single, the best thing to do is to connect with yourself so you know who you are, who you want to be and who you want to attract in your life.