Everyone has come across someone who seems too good to be true. They might be charming and kind and always have a smile on their face. Unfortunately, much of this can be an act and the person might not be as nice as you think they are. Knowing the warning signs of someone who isn’t genuine can save you a lot of heartache down the road. Here are seven signs to look for.
1. Their Kindness Always Comes With Strings Attached
No one who is actually kind will have strings attached to their actions. However, some people might seem extremely generous and then you’ll always find out there’s a catch. If you realize that someone’s actions aren’t genuine, it is a red flag. Ultimately their “kindness” is more about controlling you.
2. They’re Skilled at Playing the Victim
“Wolves in sheep’s clothing” will often use sympathy to manipulate other people. They’ll be quick to share their sob stories and hardships to make you feel sorry for them. Doing this puts them in a position where they can avoid responsibility for their actions. Because they are always the victim, it is easy for them to shift blame if things go wrong. If you discover someone is always playing the victim, you should be cautious.
3. They Charm the Crowd but Treat You Differently
People who aren’t as nice as they say they are will often work the room. You might find that they are charming and well-liked. When they are behind closed doors, it’s a different story entirely. They might treat you with less respect and be critical of everything you do. These individuals will wear a mask in public to maintain their reputation, but their true nature comes out when others aren’t around.
4. They Love to Gossip and Stir Drama
Gossiping and stirring up drama is often a subtle way that a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” manipulates those around them. They will often present themselves as kind and trustworthy individuals. In reality, they love to spread rumors and create chaos everywhere they go. When they gossip, they’ll often make you feel like they are confiding in you, but they’re really just making problems everywhere they go. Beware of anyone who knows all the latest gossip. They’re likely not as nice as they seem.
5. They Are Experts at Deflecting Blame
People who are trying to hide their bad intentions will often deflect blame and shift the responsibility of their actions onto other people. You might even find yourself apologizing even though you’ve done nothing wrong. This is a huge sign that you’re being manipulated. If someone is truly kind they will accept being held accountable for their wrongdoings.
6. They’re Inconsistent with Their Stories and Actions
Inconsistency is a sign of inauthenticity. People who tell half-truths or contradict themselves are probably not the most reliable individuals. If you notice that someone’s actions don’t match their words or that they frequently change their story, it’s a sign they’re not being genuine. Someone who is really trustworthy will be consistent in how they treat you.
7. They Subtly Undermine Your Confidence
“Wolves in sheep’s clothing” will often undermine your confidence in subtle ways. They do this by giving backhanded compliments and making jokes that often cut too deep. You might even find them offering unsolicited advice that will make you doubt yourself. This can erode your self-esteem over time and no one is worth that. If someone consistently makes you feel less than or second-guesses your worth, it’s a sign they’re not as supportive as they seem.
Block the Negativity in Your Life
True to nature, “wolves in sheep’s clothing” can be hard to spot at first. You should pay attention to how they act behind closed doors and if they are consistent in their actions. In the end, you need to trust your instincts. If something feels off about someone’s behavior, you shouldn’t ignore it. Nice people won’t manipulate or control you. They will uplift and support you.