Parenting has been one of the most rewarding and one of the most challenging experiences I’ve ever had in my life. No matter how much advice you receive, every child is different. Navigating their needs as their parent can be overwhelming at times. It took a little while, but I eventually realized that beyond the basic needs like food, shelter, and education, kids need emotional and developmental support from you to thrive. So, without further ado, here are 10 essential things I’ve discovered every child needs.
1. Unconditional Love
This one is a no-brainer. Your children need to know that they are loved no matter what. As a parent, this means that you need to show affection all the time, even when they are misbehaving. When they know they are loved unconditionally, they will develop a strong sense of self-worth. They will also know that they have a safe space at home. These feelings will help them build better relationships in their life in the future.
2. Structure and Boundaries
Every child needs to have structure and boundaries. These are actually things children crave from their parents, even when it seems like they are resisting it. You need to set clear rules and boundaries. Again, this helps provide a sense of security for your kids and helps them understand what’s expected of them. Create a reliable routine that they can count on. This might mean having a set bedtime routine or set times you do homework without any screens. Setting boundaries will provide children with the structure they need to truly feel safe. In the long run, it will help them better understand the world around them too.
3. Quality Time
It’s difficult to find time to spend with your kids sometimes, especially if you are a working parent. However, you need to find time to spend quality one-on-one time with your child. This quality time doesn’t need to be elaborate or expensive, but you need to set aside time where you can be with them without any distractions. Consider things like reading together, going for a walk, or even letting them help cook dinner with you. This will show your kid they are valued.
4. Emotional Support
Kids have big emotions and they aren’t always able to express themselves effectively. Provide them support by being there for them, listening, and validating what they are feeling. Being upset or anxious can be hard for children. Acknowledging how they are feeling can help them develop emotional intelligence. Encourage talking about their feelings and provide them with comfort when you see they’re struggling. Remember, you’re their safe space.
5. Opportunities for Play
Play is crucial for a child’s overall development. Unstructured playtime will allow your child to explore and be creative. They learn great problem-solving skills and develop social abilities through play. Kids even learn how to process their emotions while playing. So, toss the schedule aside sometimes and make time for free play. It will make a difference in their development.
6. Positive Role Models
Make sure that your children have positive role models to look up to outside of you and your partner. While parents are often the primary role models in a child’s life, other adults will also play a significant role. Ensure that the family friends they are around and teachers and coaches are all positive influences in their life. This will help them develop things like empathy and resilience.
7. Encouragement and Praise
Encouragement helps build confidence in children. Be sure to offer them praise often. It will help foster a growth mindset. Providing encouraging words can help them understand that their mistakes are part of learning. Help them celebrate their progress with everyday tasks and it will promote a lifelong love of learning.
8. A Sense of Belonging
If you can instill a sense of belonging in your child, it will make a huge difference. Kids thrive when they feel like they belong. It gives them a sense of identity and security. Encourage them to get involved in activities where they can interact with others and build relationships. Creating a sense of community for your child will help them feel valued.
9. A Healthy Balance of Independence and Guidance
There should be a balance between pushing your child to be independent and guiding them to make the right choices. Obviously, kids need to learn how to make decisions and solve problems on their own, but when it comes to more difficult situations, they will need your guidance. Finding a balance between giving them freedom and knowing when to step in is important. You’ll be helping them learn to be responsible and build confidence in themselves.
10. Basic Life Skills
You’re going to have to teach your children some basic life skills that will prepare them for adulthood. Something I wish my parents talked about more was money and finance or cooking simple meals. These are invaluable skills that your child will carry throughout their life. Keep the lessons age-appropriate. For instance, you might teach them to set the table or how to budget by making them save for a toy. As they grow up, you can introduce more complex responsibilities and ideas.
Are You Meeting All of Their Needs?
Nobody is a perfect parent, but making an effort to be present goes a long way. Make sure you are being intentional with the time you spend with your kids and remember that you’ll have to adapt to their specific needs. If you are addressing these 10 fundamental needs, you are providing a great environment for your child to thrive and become a well-rounded adult.