Children can be easily influenced directly by others and sometimes by the situation or emotions. In case it happens, then the signs can include sudden rejection, loss of affection, usage of adult language, and adopting the other parent’s attitude.
This is called parental alienation, and it happens after a high-conflict divorce, where one of the parents manipulates the child directly or indirectly.
The detailed documentation of the manipulation, evidence of messages, and witnesses is required to prove parental alienation. A child psychologist can assess the situation and provide the report.
Sudden Rejection
Divorce affects not only the parents but also pressures children, who may initially feel anxiety and discomfort. At this time, you need to pay close attention to the child’s behavior. When the child does not want to spend time or attend the scheduled visits, the refusal might be due to the influence of the other parent.
In such cases, try to make a schedule that can meet the child’s needs, communicate with the child openly, and take the help of a child psychologist to identify the cause for the sudden change.
Change of Attitude
You can observe the change in the child’s attitude towards you, and the child might be imitating the other parent’s behavior. The child starts to complain and criticize you about your parental decisions. Such behavior has to be noticed earlier, and they have to be handled gently without pushing them back.
Foster your child to open up their feelings and try to build positive behavior without confronting them about their attitude. A child therapist can assist in improving the child’s behavior.
Constant Criticism
If your child is always criticizing you with degrading comments and disrespectful remarks, then the child is under influence. They can comment on you on your character, abilities, and lifestyle. You must handle this situation with immense patience, reminding your child of your love and commitment.
Always listen to your child’s concerns or worries and answer them in an understanding manner. Be open to communication and address their issues without arguing or miscommunicating.
Feeling No Guilt
Usually, children feel guilt and remorse after saying hurtful words or doing anything hurtful. If your child hurts you with hurtful words and feels no guilt, they are believing the other parent’s words.
They have developed a black-and-white thinking, meaning that they feel the other parent is good and you are bad.
Rejecting the Past Memories
Your child will start rejecting the past good memories with you and complain to you about not taking care of them. They frame the memories, photos, and vacations as fake and meaningless, implying that they never enjoyed or were never happy.
Importance of Documenting
Make a note of missed visitations, communication, and change in the child’s behavior to analyze the actual cause of the issue. If you are not visiting your child, then this might be the reason the child is being distant with you. The loss of emotion and connectivity can gradually erode the bond you share with them.
Also, document the emails, text messages, notes, and school reports so that the lawyers can evaluate this behavior. The Family Code § 3011 governs the best interest of a child and takes care of the child’s emotional well-being.
The court considers several factors like manipulation, safety, the child’s health, and the willingness of the parents for a healthy relationship after their divorce.
Key Takeaways
- Divorce can pressure the child and can cause behavioral changes.
- The child starts changing the attitude and pushes you away against them.
- Your child does not feel guilt or remorse after doing something hurtful.
- You can experience your child criticizing you on your character, abilities, and lifestyle.
- They reject the good past memories and point out that they have never enjoyed it.