If you have aging parents, you may start to notice them reacting to more and more changes and losses in their lives.
This can be difficult for older people to cope with.
However, there are ways you can help your loved ones who are undergoing these changes and experiencing these losses (e.g., be supportive, sort through belongings).
When your parent experiences a change, such as moving to a new house or shifting care from one home health provider to another, this can be very difficult.
Not only is there the stress of having something new and different in their lives, but they may also feel abandoned by those who are no longer part of their lives.
They may also feel physically abandoned by the location itself.
This can be made worse if they feel guilty about these changes or have difficulty adjusting to them.
Here are some tips for helping your aging parents cope with change:
1. Be Supportive
Offer your support to them if they are experiencing changes. This can include moving, finding care for an aging parent, or any other big change that is happening in their lives.
If they seem stressed about the upcoming change, ask them what you can do to help.
While it may be hard for you to understand why these changes are so difficult for them, your presence and support are important.
2. Be an Active Listener
If they want someone to talk to about all the changes in their lives or have difficulties adjusting, be a good listener.
Ask open-ended questions so you can understand what is going on for them. If they don’t know how to change their situation, help them brainstorm options.
3. Give Direction and Structure
If your aging parents are having a hard time coping with the changes, give them some direction and structure.
This can include helping them to organize their belongings, so they know where everything is and what they have left.
Even if you don’t think they need it, you may find that it helps them feel less insecure about their surroundings. You can also just offer to do this or help out around the house.
4. Don’t Judge
Even if you think that your loved ones are making a mistake by choosing to stay in an abusive relationship, for example, try not to judge them harshly.
If they have put time and effort into something, let them make the decision to stay or go.
Remember that they are trusting you with their feelings and their personal decisions.
5. Find an Advisor
If the changes in their lives are affecting them to a serious degree, try finding them an advisor.
A senior care consultant can offer assistance and support so that you can make the right decision for your loved ones.
Having someone who can help you make those decisions and who is objective can really make a difference for both you and your loved ones during a difficult time.
6. Don’t Overwhelm Them
Overwhelming your aging parents with too many changes in their lives can cause them to become anxious and overwhelmed.
This is especially true if they are already struggling with one or two issues in particular.
If they seem stressed by all of the surrounding changes, focus on helping them through just one change at a time, then move on to the next one.
7. Find Ways to Grieve
If your parents are faced with loss or are grieving, there are ways to help them through this difficult time. These losses can include the death of a loved one or even the sale of their home.
While you cannot take away their pain, you can offer support and emotion management strategies.
Here are some suggestions for helping your parents through these difficult times:
- Offer to be with them when they grieve. Even if you are not a comfort to them, your physical presence can provide some comfort.
- Encourage them to find ways to talk about the loss. If they express their feelings in words, this can help ease their pain and negative emotions.
- Don’t force a goodbye if they don’t want to say goodbye. Respect their choice on how to handle this difficult time.
- Offer tangible ways of helping them remember their loved ones, such as creating a memorial or sharing memories with others.
Our aging parents will experience many changes in their lives, some of which can be difficult for them to cope with.
It is important that we offer our support and love during these times.
The tips provided in this article should help you navigate the waters when it comes to helping your aging parents deal with change.