Anxiety is a normal human emotion. At some point, everyone will feel anxious for one reason or another, which will help you avoid something dangerous or motivate you to do a thing well.
For children, anxiety can tell them not to pet a stray dog or climb a tall tree. It can also motivate them to study for a test or work diligently on a project so that they’ll get a good grade.
However, anxiety doesn’t affect all children in these positive ways. Some develop such intense fears and worries that they start avoiding places, things, people, and situations that make them anxious.
This type of avoidance behavior can signify anxiety disorder in children.
Supporting and Parenting Anxious Children
Anxiety can become a huge problem when a child feels stuck in it or when they start perceiving it as an overwhelming, uncontrollable, and upsetting experience.
If this kind of worrying goes on for a long time, it can leave a young person feeling exhausted and isolated, and limit the things they think they can do.
If you notice your children becoming more and more anxious by the day, there are several ways you can help them.
These include giving them sufficient emotional support, coming up with practical strategies to help them manage their anxiety, and finding the right anxiety treatment in Dubai if they need it.
Below are some specific ways you can start helping children struggling with anxiety:
1. Validate your child’s feelings.
Although your first impulse is to tell your child that “everything will be fine” or “it’s nothing to worry about” when they say they are anxious about something, stop yourself from doing so.
These responses imply that their feelings are wrong and groundless.
This, in turn, will make them feel that they are alone and no one cares for them, which can further increase their anxiety.
When your child is talking to you about their fears or worries, the best thing you can do first is to validate their feelings. This means listening to and empathizing with them and saying something that proves you understand what they’re saying.
Follow it up with a statement that shows you believe your child will succeed as long as they take some preparatory or precautionary steps.
If your child is anxious about giving an oral presentation in class, for instance, tell them something like, “I’d be nervous about speaking in front of many people, too.”
Then, follow it up with an encouraging statement, such as “I’m confident you’ll be able to pull it off.”
Whatever you say to your child, make sure it shows you empathize with and encourage them.
2. Emphasize the importance of being anxious.
As mentioned, being anxious also has its benefits. As such, it is important that your child understands this.
Explain to your child that worrying is a protective mechanism. Anxiety activates an alarm that helps people survive danger and stay safe.
Because of this, worrying is a normal emotion and everyone experiences it at one point or another.
Going back to the example of your child being anxious about giving an oral report, you can tell them that their nervousness is a mental signal telling them to prepare well for this event.
And when they do, they’ll feel less worried and more confident about presenting well in class.
3. Set aside regular “worry time” for your child.
Helping an anxious child is not about removing their worries and fears entirely. It’s all about helping them learn how to manage it.
Since your job is not to help your child get rid of their anxieties, a strategy you can try is giving them regular “worry time.”
A study shows that people who set aside 30 minutes of “worry time” per day tend to change the emotions they associate with their worst fears.
For instance, if a person is afraid of flying, they have to spend half an hour each day worrying about the bad things that might happen on a plane.
During this time, they are not allowed to rationalize their fears or think anything positive about it.
When a person makes this a habit, they will gradually shift from a state of fear and anxiety to boredom. This is because the brain becomes tired from the recurring “fight or flight” response and decides to move on.
Ultimately, the feeling of boredom changes to more positive emotions.
This strategy will likely work on your child since they won’t be asked to get rid of their anxieties, which is impossible.
During “worry time,” aside from thinking, you can encourage your child to write their fears on a notebook or whiteboard. This is a great way to help them focus on their anxieties during this period.
If your child is still young, consider reducing the time to 10 to 15 minutes a day.
4. Teach your child anxiety management strategies.
Aside from “worry time,” there are other anxiety management techniques you can teach your children.
These include:
- Deep and slow breathing
Anxiety can cause a person’s breathing to become shallower and faster. Teach your child to slow down their breathing when they become anxious by counting to three as they inhale and counting to three when they exhale.
- Progressive muscle relaxation
For this strategy, tell your child to go to a quiet place. Here, ask them to close their eyes and slowly tense (at least three seconds) and relax their muscles from their toes to the head. This technique helps reduce the muscle tension that comes with anxiety.
- Taking small acts of bravery
Encourage your child to do something or go somewhere that makes them anxious, or at least start going near the place they are afraid of. Doing so helps them learn that what they fear isn’t likely to happen. And if their fear becomes a reality, they’ll know how to deal with it.
5. Be a role model.
If you tend to get rattled easily and your child sees you worrying a lot, you need to work on changing your behavior, too.
Avoid lying or pretending that you’re not worried when you’re clearly under stress. Let your child see how you cope with anxiety. When you’re anxious, tell them what is causing it and how you plan to manage it.
After verbalizing your worries, practice the anxiety management techniques you teach your child to reduce your fears.
Next, try to include your child when making a plan on how to deal with your anxiety.
When you let your child see you managing your anxieties calmly and tolerating them, they will follow your lead and become better at dealing with their own worries.
As a final note, be open to getting help from specialists when you notice that these strategies are not helping your child manage their anxiety.
Neurofeedback therapy in Dubai is an option you can consider.
This non-invasive treatment uses safe, specialized equipment to train your child’s brain to overcome their anxieties.
With patience and constant support, you can help your child learn to manage their anxieties, which they can apply every day now and in the future.