There is no right or wrong answer when dealing with a separation; everybody copes differently, and everybody’s pain and experience is different. Only you can know how best to manage your own separation, but there are a few key steps you should try to avoid neglecting.
- Take Precautions with Shared Property
If you are not married to your partner, but you have a joint claim in a property, as with a mortgage, then you will need to make an arrangement that works best for the two of you. During a painful separation, it can be tough to find clarity and common ground, especially if there is bad blood. Perhaps both of you wish to keep the property in their name, but nobody wants to move out. Whatever decision you come to, it’s important to also make a note of any agreements made. During a civilized conversation, your partner may state that they are happy for you to keep the property and have their name taken off the mortgage – or perhaps they ask for a specific figure to buy them out of the property. However, if an official note of this has not been made with their signature, it can be easy for any individual to change their mind later down the line or claim that they never agreed to something at all. You may want to consider the services of a notary for drawing up documents such as this. Click here to find out more.
2. Put Yourself First
You may have given everything to your relationship, but a separation means you absolutely need to think about yourself and only yourself. That doesn’t mean that there’s no room for compromise in order to come to a civilized agreement, but always remember that you have the right to receive everything you’re owed. Never agree to terms that put you on the back foot, especially if you still love your partner and are inclined to want to do what’s best for them, as well as yourself. Although this is admirable, later on, when your feelings have subsided, you may regret that you didn’t fight for more, such as fair division of property or possessions.
3. Don’t Isolate Yourself
It’s understandable to want to be alone when going through something particularly traumatic. However, your friends and family are going to be much needed when you are experiencing such an upheaval in your life. Separations can often result in you feeling lost and not sure where to go or what to do – especially if you need to look for a new home or temporary accommodation – and loved ones are essential in helping you through that.
4. Reacquaint Yourself with Your Own Interests
While the best relationships, of course, never prevent you from stifling your own interests and hobbies, a separation can be the most important time to get to know yourself again and see if there is anything new you would like to learn or explore. Taking on new hobbies or spending more time doing hobbies that you’ve always enjoyed can be a crucial component in the recovery process. This step may also help to take your mind off everything and help you relax.