You probably hear the word self-care enough, but what does it really mean?
Some people talk about self-care as though it suggests self-involvement, but this is the very reason you need it in the first place.
It is all about looking after yourself in the way that you normally look after others.
Too many people, and women in particular, have a tendency to constantly put themselves last.
Self-care means treating yourself as well as you would treat people that you love.
If you still aren’t convinced, keep in mind that you can’t do as much for others if you are unhappy and burned out.
Below are three ways to show yourself that same love and attention.
Talk
What kinds of things do you say to yourself all day? What about when you mess up?
Do you think things like “you idiot, you’ve done it again?” Would you talk to your best friend this way?
Once you start to notice how often you say negative things about yourself over the course of a day, you might start to get a better idea of why you so often feel your confidence or overall self-esteem has eroded.
Try an experiment for a few days.
Pay attention, and every time you say or start to say something negative about yourself, turn it around.
If you can’t think of something positive to say—you’ve just forgotten your keys and are locked out of the house for the third time this month, and frankly, you’re exasperated—try to turn it around with a solution.
For example, you might say, “I’ve forgotten my keys again, but I’m going to put a sign on the front door to remind me as I’m leaving to check for them.”
Gifts
You probably give gifts to other people, but what about yourself?
Chances are, you tend to only buy things that you need because anything else feels too frivolous.
For this reason, the gift you give yourself should be something that you don’t need but that genuinely brightens your day.
A subscription is a great way to do this because it arrives on a regular basis, and you don’t even have to do anything after you set it up initially.
You can buy a monthly flower subscription and get beautiful, sustainably source flowers that go straight to your door from the farm.
Every time you look at this beautiful arrangement, it will cheer you up and remind you of your value.
Time
Women are also notoriously bad at making time for themselves.
After all, everyone needs your time more than you do—your boss, your coworkers, your kids, your spouse and your parents.
Even the dog needs you to walk her, feed her and play with her.
Sure, it would be good to have some time for yourself, but who will put together that important report at work, take the kids to soccer practice, listen to your spouse’s office woes or run your parents to the doctor?
Some of these tasks are so important that you can’t simply drop them and hope someone else picks up the slack, but it’s still critical that you carve out a few minutes for yourself most days.
Whether it’s early morning, late at night, or your lunch break, taking 15 to 30 minutes to read a book, journal, or listen to some music can keep you centered.