Parenting isn’t easy. Trying to get your kids to listen to you without yelling can be extremely frustrating. Sometimes, it really feels like raising your voice is the only way you’ll get their attention. However, there are more effective ways to encourage them to cooperate without yelling. Here are 10 genius ways you can get your kids to listen without yelling at them.
1. Get Down to Their Eye Level
Standing above your child can feel intimidating to them and will make it harder for them to listen to you. Kneeling down to their eye level will show them you respect them and will make it easier to connect. It also grabs their attention more effectively than yelling would. When you’re face-to-face, you create a sense of empathy, making them more likely to listen.
2. Use Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement can go a long way with your children. Rather than focusing on what they are doing wrong, highlight what they are doing right. Be sure to praise actions like following instructions or cooperating with tough tasks. It could be as simple as “I love how you’re sharing with your sibling right now!” Your kids want your attention and giving it to them for good behavior will encourage them to repeat it.
3. Make Listening Fun with Games
You can make listening fun with games. Simon Says and Freeze Dance are great games to get your child to put on their listening ears. Instead of being something boring, these games can turn following directions into a fun challenge. Playing games that require them to listen improves their focus without them even realizing it.
4. Give Clear and Concise Instructions
It’s important to be clear about what you expect from your child. Sometimes they might not be listening because they are overwhelmed with too much information. Keep your instructions short and to the point. Instead of saying, “Go clean your room, get dressed, and brush your teeth,” try breaking it down: “First, go clean your room.” When you are clear with your expectations, your child is more likely to listen.
5. Offer Choices to Give Them Control
Giving your child some control over the situation can go a long way too. Oftentimes, kids resist listening because they feel like they don’t have control over anything. Offering them choices can help empower them while still guiding their actions. This approach gives them a sense of autonomy, making them more likely to cooperate.
6. Stay Calm and Use a Soft Voice
Rather than yelling, try using a soft voice. When you speak softly, your kids are forced to quiet down and focus so they can hear you. It also sets the tone for a more calm interaction. They’ll likely model your calm behavior and listen to what you are saying.
7. Set Clear Expectations Ahead of Time
Sometimes kids aren’t listening because they don’t know what’s expected. Setting clear boundaries and expectations before you engage in an activity can prevent miscommunication. For instance, before going into a store you might say “We’re going into the store to get groceries. I need you to stay by the cart and help me choose the items we need.” When you are upfront about your expectations, they are more likely to listen without any pushback.
8. Use Natural Consequences
Using natural consequences can also help your child listen. For example, if your kid refuses to put on a coat, allow them to experience the cold for a few minutes. This will demonstrate the importance of listening to you and you won’t have to yell or even say a word. Natural consequences teach life lessons in a way that yelling can’t.
9. Empathize with Their Feelings
As a parent, empathy is an important tool. Kids often aren’t listening because they feel misunderstood or overwhelmed. Acknowledging their feelings can make a huge difference. Saying something like “I know you’re upset because you don’t want to leave the park,” shows that you understand their perspective. This validates how they are feeling and will make them more likely to cooperate.
10. Follow Through with Consistency
You have to be consistent. When your children know you will stick to your word, they will take you seriously. If you ask them to pick up their toys and they don’t, be prepared to follow through with consequences, such as taking away screen time or a favorite toy. Inconsistency will lead to your kids pushing boundaries and not listening. Consistency will create a more respectful and cooperative dynamic.
Building Better Listening Skills Without Yelling
Sometimes it is easy to start yelling without thinking about how it impacts your child’s listening skills. In the long run, you aren’t doing yourself any favors when you raise your voice. Consistency and understanding will go a long way to helping your kids foster better listening habits.