Sometimes the secret of the most stable marriages are not about what the partners do but about the things they don’t do. Here is a list with the four most common marriage problems and try to avoid making the same mistakes.
You talk too much
Your husband promised to fix the leaking pipes under the kitchen sink but is not doing anything about it for more than three weeks now? Do not rush into hasty decisions and tell your best friend about that. Or, your mother in law is deliberately asking you why you can’t choose a destination for your vacation and you know that your husband has told her all about your arguments on the matter. It is great if you manage to let the steam off when you have some disagreements in the family, but remember that too much negative energy every day affects your marriage badly.
Do you really want your friends and relatives believe that your marriage is somehow unsatisfactory? We bet you don’t. So, try not to stay focused on the things you do not like about each other. If you constantly look for the habits of your spouse that you find annoying, it is possible you start ignoring their good qualities and stop appreciating them. This means that if you are constantly trying to display the negative aspects of your marriage when talking to other people you make yourself look like a victim.
All this affects your marriage, and not in a good way. Instead of talking about your problems with your spouse, you are actually involving third parties, and this may create a sense of guilt in your partner. Try to put some limits in your marriage in order to have at least a little privacy.
You have arguments for minor things
He is complaining about your crowded wardrobe and you are annoyed by his obsession to collect totally useless gadgets? At first glance, these arguments are all about minor things that don’t really matter, but on a subconscious level they mean “I don’t like this in you and you should change it because of me.” And, as we all know, people are not particularly happy when their partner is trying to change something about them. You must be aware that marriage is a union between two individuals, each one of who has their own strong and poor sides. It is completely normal that there are some things you like and others you don’t but you should learn to accept the flaws as part of your partner’s character and not judge them.
The self-regret syndrome
He rolls his eyes and sighs loudly when you are once again late for your appointment. You say “Whatever” about some things you don’t really want to do but do not want to confront him. And this is all bad for your relationship because there is too much negative energy between you two that you are trying to hide. Of you don’t tell your partner what bothers you, how can you expect them to realize what the problem is and make things right? Have a conversation, just two of you, and explain to each other what makes you miserable and how you think things may be fixed. Use your words wisely and be careful not to turn your conversation in a quarrel because arguments are not useful.
You are too distant from each other
You are both very busy at work or with your children? Does this sound familiar? If yes, then you know how it feels to have a separate life, because when in a marriage like this you don’t actually communicate with your partner. Reducing you time spent with your spouse means exposing your marriage to risk, because each of you has a life and you don’t share the same schedule any more. So, if you notice that there is a distance between you two, then it is high time you try to make this work. Sometimes emotional distance may raise some doubts, so if you are going through this, you better go and see a marriage counselor who will help you realize what your problems are and will give you solutions.
Jessica Conars is passionate about her family and family life. She works for http://www.housecleanlondon.co.uk/end-of-tenancy-cleaning-sw13-barnes/. She is really happy with that because she has enough time for her family.