There is one word which no couple wants to talk about.
It is messy, complicated, painful, and really frightening, particularly if you are ending a long marriage. For families with children, the challenges are even greater, because the impact of a separation is substantial.
There’s no getting around the fact that divorce is scary.
However, with the right support and the best Melbourne family lawyer, you can make it through the other side. During a separation, it’s important to keep your eye on the end of the road. Focus on practical goals and don’t forget that, where children are involved, a fast, amicable divorce is essential.
This guide to supporting your family during a separation will give you some information on the best resources.
Choose Your Lawyer
There are some superb family lawyers in Melbourne and they are highly recommended for couples with dependent children. They are a little different from other lawyers because their priority is the wellbeing of the family unit. While these experts have and do take cases to court, they try to avoid it by counseling couples through amicable settlements. So, if you are keen to deal with your case privately, look for a good family divorce lawyer.
Consider a Therapist
Not all children need to see a psychologist for support during a separation, but they can be a wonderful resource for kids who are struggling. Plus, it is really easy to find therapists and psychologists with the help of a family lawyer. Most are highly adaptable and will work closely with you to formulate a counseling plan. The beauty of child therapy is that it provides a safe space for honest expression. Many children suppress their feelings about a separation because they are afraid that they will upset one or both parents.
Spend Time with Your Spouse
Given the circumstances, this might be the last thing that you want to do, but it is worth spending time with your partner in an environment which is separate from the legal proceedings. There are two sides to divorce; the practical and the emotional. Getting together (even if it’s just once or twice) with a couples counselor is an opportunity to work on your emotional needs. Forget who is entitled to what and how your finances will be split and just talk through your problems.
Talk to a Financial Planner
Once again, many family separations end up being very difficult, because there’s no divide between the legal and the personal. Yes, you have to settle your terms in a legal capacity, but this is not the same as preparing for a new future. With the help of a financial planner, you and your spouse can sit down and discuss practical, everyday needs. You can work out what you are used to spending on the family, whether that amount will have to change, and what kind of support you need to make it happen.
Keep the Kids in Mind
Whatever happens, your children should always be the priority.
The mistake that people make is to assume that it is separation which irrevocably harms kids. In reality, children are actually very resilient and find it easier than adults to adapt to new ways of living. It is the mood and the tone of divorce which can cause damage, so put all of your energy into keeping things amicable. If the circumstances of the separation are very sensitive, it will be difficult, but it is also more than worthwhile to ensure the future happiness of your little ones.