Relationships are a wonderful blessing to have. They can be hard work, but the sense of community they bring is important to a person’s wellbeing and personal growth. At times, however, there are people in our lives and even in our inner circles who become a source of negative energy.
When this happens, there are a few different choices you can make. One of these choices is to let go of that person. This is a tough decision, but it is sometimes necessary. How do you go about ending relationships with those who are no longer good for you?
Make a Decision
Before you decide to cut someone out of your life, think long and hard as to whether this is indeed the right decision for you. Is the person in question a dangerous person, or can your issues be worked out? Do they play an important role in your life, or in the lives of your immediate family? Will your decision be helping or harming the people you love? Is there a possible way to work out the dispute? Don’t rush to any sudden decisions.
If you have had a disagreement, lay out your concerns to the individual in a respectful manner. Remember, just because you disagree with someone doesn’t automatically make them the party in the wrong. Speak calmly and choose to act in a peaceful manner.
There is no reason to fly off the handle when you have decided you need to let someone go. Choose to be a person who shows maturity. Be kind instead of acting in an inflammatory manner.
Give Your Reasons
Assuming the individual in question has not been violent or abusive to you or your family in any way, it is only fair to let the person you are cutting ties with be privy to the reason why. State your reasons for the decision and make your intentions clear. Cutting someone out of your life and refusing to discuss it can be very confusing and harmful to them, and to you. Giving an explanation will help you to become more effective at communication.
Listen to Their Side
Cutting someone out of your life, especially someone close to you, is no easy decision. Consider that you may have been acting in the heat of the moment. Ask for their thoughts about your decision, and truly listen to what they have to say about it.
If you have decided this is what you need to do, you will need to be firm. It is difficult to hear that someone no longer wants you to be in their life, so expect the person you speak with to have strong feelings about the issue. If you have been harmed by this person, be especially firm and careful not to mislead then into thinking that there is a chance to be reunited if there isn’t. Of course you can change your mind in the future if you feel your decision was wrong, but don’t raise false expectations on the part of someone who is having a hard time letting go.
Making a decision to remove someone from your life takes a lot of thinking, and is not easy. Before you make this decision, think deeply and plan your strategy in advance. Instead of rushing into something you will regret later, plan ahead so you can do it in the most mature and careful way possible, in the best interest of all involved.