Family issues, too much stress at work, words that just “slipped” out of our mouths – we all make mistakes when it comes to our communication with other people. Many people actually realize that their communication with the others is not right and they feel guilty and ashamed although they can’t exactly where the problem is. Unfortunately, we can’t turn back time in order to change what we said or done, because times flies and waits for no man. However, you can prepare yourself for the future if you know the major communication problems and learn how to deal with them.
You expect people read your mind
One of the biggest mistakes you can make in communication with other people is to believe that the person you are talking to knows exactly how you feel and what you need. Therefore, whenever you start a conversation and expect something like this, you will end up more or less disappointed. In this case, loneliness is a choice, because if you really need someone understand what you think, feel or need, you need to speak with them and let them hear what you have to say. It is highly unlikely that you find someone who thinks just like you do, so do not hesitate to speak your mind.
You blame the others
If during your conversation you start blaming the other person, they usually go in defensive mode, and that is actually normal. That however means that whatever you say, it is highly unlikely for you to be truly heard. If you want to get some understanding, try to explain what you feel. The worst approach here is to start blaming the others even if they are actually wrong. If you yell to them, the person you are trying to communicate with will stop listening to you and will respond in defence.
You always listen but you don’t actually speak
Another communication mistake that can be a problem is not to express your opinion. If you do that, you will make your interlocutor feel as if they are trying to communicate not with a living person but with a mannequin and this can affect your relationship. Sending some feedback when talking to someone is essential because it is actually able to improve your communication with each other. It would also show some different perspectives of the problem and this can be pretty useful when you need to make an important decision.
You use sarcasm
Using sarcasm can be fun if it’s done at the right time and with the right people. However, when discussing some serious matters, especially with people you don’t know very well, you should not be sarcastic. Otherwise, your interlocutors may feel offended and fail to understand your point of view. And still, if you make a mistake, you better apologize and move on. Don’t start digging in the very heart of the problem because there is a change you make things worse.
You use unpleasant nicknames
Be careful when using nicknames, especially when they are carried out with a negative charge, because the person you are talking to may not be in a mood and may feel offended no matter how close you two are.
You always want to have the last word
It is natural to try leading the conversation in the direction you want when talking to someone. However, ask yourself if this person really likes this and if they want to lead this conversation at first place. Then ask yourself if it is necessary to do things the way you want and if you are honest with yourself, the answer will be “no” in many cases.
You give up easily
It is a mistake to make people do or hear whatever you want but it is also a mistake to give up easily and do everything you are told to. This ways you become easily manipulated, which can’t be in your favour. So, try to be more self-confident and have some self-esteem in order to to let the others tell you what to think or do. Listen to their words, of course, but try to be a bit critical.
Jessica Conars loves to write about relationships and family issues. Her work at www.endoftenancycleanerslondon.com/n17-tottenham/ don’t takes her much time and she has enough free time with her family.